Success Freaks

Helping Others be Awesome

  • Home
  • About
    • About
    • Freaky Reading
  • Podcasts
  • Blog
    • Blog
    • Out & About
    • Guest Article
  • Videos
  • Contact
    • Contact

To all who dare to try,

January 15, 2013 by Charles McFall

They say home is where the heart is; wherever I may roam where I lay my head is home; home – where my music’s played, home – where my love lies waiting silently for me; and of course where we tell mama I’m heading. Yeah, I am a bit of a music nut sometimes – if you don’t get the references, Google it.

For most I suppose home is family, where you grew up, and to where you return. And yet for most of us, where we are is not where we live. We stay in a place of perpetual stress, death grips on what we hold most dear and no real hope or vision of change. Except that is only a limited perception of where we are. I hope to show you this month how I transitioned from that state of being, I call it a “broke (as in no money) mentality,” to where I am now – of living in the excitement of seeing “the dream” draw more into reality.

First let’s be clear about the “broke mentality.” Where we are in this area of life is we have managed to attract some value into our lives. In a recent speech I gave, I had a volunteer stand up, had her hold a doll representing a husband, then a few cookie monster toys to be the kids, a vacuum to represent maintaining a home (no I wasn’t being sexist – I actually planned to grab a male volunteer), money, and car keys. As you can imagine her hands were very full and her instructions were to hold on tight and don’t let go. Then I pulled a cell phone out of my pocket and said “life is calling – catch.” The crowd reaction was awesome as I tossed the phone through the air at her and unfortunately for me she caught it without dropping anything. My intention was to show that as we have a death grip on what little value we have now, we have no room to grow. And, when life throws us a curveball, everything falls apart.

I went on to explain that the reason we as humans fail to reach the goals we set is because we are trying to arbitrarily add to the pile of things we are death gripping – yeah I just made that a verb yo! When we live like this, we are always pulled in too many directions, never feeling valued or satisfied, constantly worried about losing what little we have, and are always saying no. As I saw the heads in the room nodding in agreement, I knew it was time to explain where we really live.

All of us have a passion inside. We have something in our lives that attracts us above and beyond anything else. For some it’s sports, the kids, the vehicles, but for me it’s communicating & helping others be awesome. This is where we truly live no matter what we hold dear. I have made many a bad decision to ignore my wife because I lost track of time talking with someone and helping them. I have also tried to stifle this love and only pay attention to her (and the family later in life) only to be miserable and to make her so as well. The balance I had to find was to always communicate and help others. I couldn’t put it all into work, the show, or friends and not be able to do it the same or more in my “home.” Once I gave the same energy and effort into my “home” – basically lived it with my wife, family, and myself – everything changed.

Over the last five years I have slowly but surely refined how I utilize my passion. I started off doing a small podcast that grew into a community of shows and hosts. At the same time I learned lessons on how to use that passion to better my marriage and be a better father. You see, the general mistake I was making – and I feel most people make – is that I sent my talents one way. That was out over the airwaves, and that made my wife feel left out and ignored. I realized that to truly follow my heart I needed to live it – and that is where home is. I had to realize that I was “doing” a show that competed with my attention for my wife, my kids, and my work. I couldn’t ignore the internal conflicts anymore. Through the year of 2012 I struggled with this concept – the ultimate resolution being I had to let go of something good in order to get something better. By letting go of the Bear Crawling Nation and a few other things not only willingly, but also happily, I did more than free myself up to chase my dream. I discovered that once I stopped “doing” and started living, things like “spending money on a stupid hobby” changed to ways & means appearing to us (my wife and I), allowing me to do things that could never have been done before.

I just returned from the New Media Expo which was an impossibility. Not only was it costly for a “hobby” I knew it would never fly with the wife. Yet she ended up being the one pushing me to go, finding ways to make it happen, and ultimately forcing me into the reality of what happens when you live your passion.

Before May of 2012 I was holding tight to the outlets I had built for my passion while trying to hold tight to the family, work, etc. That was a recipe for disaster, and little disasters came often enough. But, through first living the passion at home, my whole world opened up. So, I hope you see that where you are right now isn’t where you really live. We all want to feel relaxed, stress free, and to say yes more than no. What we have to do is live what we want in order to achieve it. As my wife and I say now “when it’s right we say yes. Then we allow the universe and God to bring it to us.”

Home for me is my passion. It’s not a place, or even a set of people. Home is where I come alive, shine like a rock star, and truly gain join by giving to others. As I now live everyday out of my love of communication & “helping others be awesome,” my life changed seemingly overnight at NMX. I could go on and on with the details of my adventures, the deeper meanings of what happened there, and how for me it was truly a dream come to life. And truly, I set out to write this article based out of what I experienced there. But really, there is only one phrase that can sum up what the New Media Expo means to me:

Welcome Home.

Email me your thoughts and stories: Charles@theothersideoflive.com

Down With O.P.P. (Other People’s Perceptions)?

August 22, 2012 by R. Mordant Mahon

Yeah, you know me!

You down with O.P.P?

Yeah, you know me!

All of us have come face to face with family & friends who do not agree with, and quite often do not understand, what we are doing and what we are about.  They are sure what you are doing is wrong and you will only wind up hurting yourself, others, and (even worse) them!  Breaking through your defenses with knowing smiles and furrowed brows, they hide behind their super-friend guise of concern and offer up an unending stream of advice.  When this fails to talk sense into you, their “friendly” advice becomes more pronounced… aggressive… sometimes, even threatening.

How can you be so blind?!

Can’t you see what you’re doing—how you’re hurting yourself and everyone around you?

How can you be so selfish?!

You Bastard!

Sound familiar?  It does to me—even the “bastard” part.  (Okay, maybe I’m paraphrasing… taking poetic license and being a tad overdramatic.  But, that’s how it sounds in my head.)  All the high dramatics aside, I’m here to tell you…

“It’s none of your business what other people think of you.”

(In “quotation marks” because many others have said this before—“I stand on the shoulders of giants.”)

It is human nature to want to keep the status quo.  Home & office, friends & family—there is a hierarchy, a pecking order if you will that most people strive to keep.  Office politics and corporate hierarchy often dictate that their denizens jockey for position like nobility at court.  The same can be said of your friend and family social structures.  No matter where you are in life, each group you come in contact with has its Alpha, its Beta, and even its Psi & Omega.

Then you come along….

With your highfalutin ideas about changing your life for the better.  It’s not “good.”  It’s not “normal.”  Others certainly don’t want you altering things… especially if this means they’ll be moving down a few rungs on the social ladder.

Is this true?

Some yes.

Am I telling you this so you can be pissed off at the injustice of it all?

Mostly no.

Mostly I’m telling you so you will understand why it happens, recognize it when it happens.  It doesn’t affect you.  At least, it doesn’t have to.  Why?  Because you see it coming and you can steel your self-esteem against the onslaught of their crippling barbs & jeers?

No.  Well… some, but mostly no.

It doesn’t affect you because…

“It’s none of your business what other people think of you.”  Still.

There is a story I’ve heard about crabs in a bucket.  It seems you only have to put a lid over the bucket when you have caught only the first one.  After that, when you have more crabs in the bucket, they do all the work.  Even though safety, freedom, and a much longer lifespan reside on the outside, the remaining crabs pull the would-be escapee back down to their level.

To the bucket.

To their doom.

It is human nature to do the same thing…mostly without the impending doom.  Mostly.  You see, this behavior has spelled the death of many a dream.  Pull them down enough and creative types will finally come to their senses, leaving go of an inspiration that “probably” wouldn’t go anywhere anyway.  A crushed spirit can lead to a safe & secure J-O-B.

Remember, others forcing their Perceptions and Opinions on you = Peer Pressure.  This was a big pain in the butt during high school & college.  It’s time to begin growing past this now.

Are people actually holding you back?  Physically?  Really?!  Or could it be that you value their opinions over yours?  You’re worried about what other people might think, so you buckle under the perceived “pressure.”  You hold your tongue instead of offering your brilliant suggestion at the board meeting.  One week later, you watch Johnston submitting your idea, receiving all the praise.

Johnston.

That idea-stealing, dream-crushing glory thief.

He kept you back.  He held you down.  When you shared your idea with him he physically… did nothing.  Other than physically open his mouth, suggesting your idea “outlandish.”  You did the rest.  Worried about what your coworkers might think, you kept your mouth shut.

You did it.

You-you-you!

Instead of worrying about what anybody else thought, Johnston stuck his neck out and offered up your idea.  Sure, he’s not going to win Team Player of the Year, but who cares?!  He’s on his way up & out of the bucket and you’re not.

Next time you have another brilliant idea (don’t worry, you will; you have them all the time), speak up.  Whether it’s about your job, some creative spark, or a dream you just can’t quit—make your move.

Don’t worry about what others think.

Why should you?  They’re not worried about you.  Not really.

People are too enmeshed in their own lead role to worry about your bit part in their life.  Everybody’s got their own stuff going on.  Their world, and opinion of you, is colored by that.  It’s not personal.  Remember, everyone is hip deep in their own sheep sugar and the smell is why they’re making that funny face—not you.

But, what if they’re right… and you’re not!?

Life is a game, meant to be played—an experiment where you try new things.  Often you will fall flat on your face…and that’s okay—great even!  This is how we learn how to do this thing called Life.  As long as you’re not hurting yourself or others, muck things up a bit.  Take chances.  Ready, fire, then aim as you go.  It’s okay—you’re doing fine!

Only you can decide what your life is about—what’s important, what’s not.  At the end of the day, Y-O-U are responsible for your own experiences.  That means you can make mistakes and….

You can fix them!

These are your lessons.  You have to learn them, to go through “the fire” sometimes in order to Level Up Your Life.  When it comes to your life, you are responsible—yours is the opinion that matters.  I’m not going to tell you that everything will always work out the way you want.  In fact, often, when you get what you want, it winds up not looking anything like you thought it might.  Is this some cruel cosmic joke?

No.  Maybe.  Sure.  Who cares!

Whatever happens, isn’t it better to follow your passion?  To attempt even a few of your “crazy” ideas?  Rather than suffer a life of “quiet desperation”?  You might surprise yourself.  You will fall flat on your face…a lot.  But, that’s okay.  That’s why you’re here.  To run and fall and skin your knees… and create a great life for yourself.

So, what do you say?

You down with O.P.P.?

No way, not me!

You down with O.P.P.?

No way, not me!

You know what?  Me neither.

“I took the road less traveled, and it has made all the difference.”

~Robert Frost~

For more on this topic, check out the podcast >>TOSOL #55 – Down With O.P.P. (Other People’s Perceptions)? <<

TOSOL #34 – It Gets Better

March 7, 2012 by Success Freaks

An injured Gangplank-Studios Mordant (he bit his tongue) begins the show with some gringo-with-a-lisp Spanish, while Monticello-Bear’s-Den McFall makes us laugh at his growing pains with “Chaos & Coffee in the Mornings.”

http://media.blubrry.com/mordantworld/www.successfreaks.com/podcast/TOSOL-34-it-gets-better.mp3

Podcast: Play in new window | Download | Embed

Subscribe: RSS

Our podcasting/talk radio Divas use laughter to introduce us to a very somber subject and touch on some very important points to help us get past the difficult times.

If you’ve ever felt left out…if you’ve ever been bullied or picked on…if you’ve ever felt different and like you were all alone in your plight, THIS is the show for you!  The chat room was filled with people sharing their difficult memories, DaDenMan, Kamori, and Othoron called in with their thoughts and both Mordant & McFall talked about the things they went through growing up.  Although we can all laugh at them now, everyone agrees that it was hard at the time.  However, everyone also acknowledged that IT definitely does GET BETTER and that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

 

Highlights:

***Scrubs

***TOSOL #33 “Failing Forward”

***Christopher Titus

***T. Harv Eker

***ItGetsBetter.org

***DaDenMan

***Avatar

***The Karate Kid

***Glee – “On My Way” (episode)

***The Trevor Project

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Honorable Mentions:

 

  • tosol@theothersideoflive.com
  • http://www.facebook.com/bcntosol
  • http://bearcrawlingnation.com/nas
  • http://noagendastream.com
  • http://www.facebook.com/MordantWorld
  • http://www.facebook.com/bearcrawlingnation
  • http://mordantworld.com/
  • http://theothersideoflive.com
  • http://bearcrawlingnation.com

 

TOSOL #31 – Guest: Sarina Stone – The Tao of Valentine’s Day

February 16, 2012 by Success Freaks

Live from the Gangplank Studio in Chandler, AZ & the Bear Crawling Nation Bear’s Den in Monticello, GA, Mordant & Charles welcome their special Saint Valentine’s Day guest, Sarina Stone.  Tonight they talk about romance, sex, and even dance all over your relationship comfort zones.  Sarina is an internationally renowned Natural Health Consultant, Certified Universal Healing Tao Instructor, and Author of multiple books including her latest, Why Real Couples Drink Straight Tequila—The Tao of Commitment.

 

http://media.blubrry.com/mordantworld/www.successfreaks.com/podcast/TOSOL-31-sarina-stone.mp3

Podcast: Play in new window | Download | Embed

Subscribe: RSS

Highlights:

***Happy Valentine’s Day

***Charles likes Chocolate shopping after Valentine’s Day

***Recap of TOSOL #30 – Guest Starring: Cindy Lu

***Hello, Sarina Stone

***Why Real Couples Drink Straight Tequila—The Tao of Commitment

***Sarina thanks Mordant for his help with her first book

*** “Conscious Relationships”

***Being in relationships and making choices

*** “The common denominator in my relationships is me”

***Sarina discusses celebrating Valentine’s Day

***Who was Saint Valentine?

***The Tao of Tequila

***Taoist Sexual Practices

***Sex, Romance, & the Holistic Medicine

***Sarina’s closing advice for Valentine’s Day

***SarinaStone.com for free mp3 – “Inner Smile Meditation”

***Mordant received Chocolate-covered Strawberries for Valentine’s Day

***Next week Mordant & Charles concentrate on “Success Freaks”…and, perhaps, “The Positive of Negative Emotions” & “What You Think Affects Your Reality”…maybe

***SpeakPipe

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Honorable Mentions:

 

  • tosol@theothersideoflive.com
  • http://www.facebook.com/bcntosol
  • http://bearcrawlingnation.com/nas
  • http://noagendastream.com
  • http://www.facebook.com/MordantWorld
  • http://www.facebook.com/bearcrawlingnation
  • http://mordantworld.com/
  • http://theothersideoflive.com
  • http://bearcrawlingnation.com

TOSOL #30 – Guest: Cindy Lu – The Four Man Plan

February 9, 2012 by Success Freaks

Tonight Mordant & Charles take you on a fun, interesting, and highly motivational interview with dating & relationship coach, comedian, author Cindy Lu as she explains her strategies & gives insights into the puzzling world of dating via her popular book, “The Four Man Plan.”

 

http://media.blubrry.com/mordantworld/www.successfreaks.com/podcast/TOSOL-30-4-man-interview.mp3

Podcast: Play in new window | Download | Embed

Subscribe: RSS

Highlights:

***Technical SNAFUs open the live show once again *le sigh*

***Recap of TOSOL #29 – “Always Be Learnin’, Yo!”

***Cindy Lu chats about how she enjoyed listening to TOSOL #22 “Date Free or Die!” with Four-Man-Planner Paige

***Cindy Lu explains what the Four Man Plan is and where the concept came from

***Charles Nelson Reilly’s contribution to “The Four Man Plan”

***What the 4MP does for you?

***Cindy Lu and Mordant talk about sex (yes, sex) in the Four Man Plan

***Sarina Stone calls in and shares her experiences with the 4MP:

^^^^^How Chivalry AND Competition work together in the 4MP

^^^^^ “True Blood”

 

***Mordant asks about The Four Woman Plan

 

***Cindy Lu & Social Media:

^^^^^Hints about a possible TV show

^^^^^The 4MP on YouTube

^^^^^Podcasting in Cindy Lu’s future?

 

***Charles talks about his “Two Girl Plan”

***You need to find someone “Honest, Loving, & Willing”

***Do you “Suck at Love” and can you get better on the 4MP?

***Explaining the Mantris Graph

***Cindy Lu begins her relationship with her husband using the 4MP

***Cindy Lu’s new book for couples & relationships

***Big Mac vs. Filet Mignon

***What’s next for Cindy Lu?

***Malibu Healing Center

***Pimpin’ Cindy Lu:

^^^^^TheFourManPlan.com

^^^^^YouTube

 

***Closing advice for men from Cindy Lu

***Next Week:  Interview with Sarina Stone, author of “Why Real Couples Drink Straight Tequila—The Tao of Commitment”

***Tune in app

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Honorable Mentions:

 

  • tosol@theothersideoflive.com
  • http://www.facebook.com/bcntosol
  • http://bearcrawlingnation.com/nas
  • http://noagendastream.com
  • http://www.facebook.com/MordantWorld
  • http://www.facebook.com/bearcrawlingnation
  • http://mordantworld.com/
  • http://theothersideoflive.com
  • http://bearcrawlingnation.com

 

The Other Side of LIVE! #3 – St. Valentine’s Day Afterglow

February 15, 2011 by Success Freaks

http://media.blubrry.com/mordantworld/www.successfreaks.com/podcast/TOSOL3-AfterValentines.mp3

Podcast: Play in new window | Download | Embed

Subscribe: RSS

Mordant and Charles hit the podcast after valentines day with what R. Mordant Mahon calls the afterglow. They take calls from Aliah, Katie, Rhonni, and “Charlotte” when asking “What do you think about the commercialization of valentines day?” Other ideas that arise are how hard to work to keep things fresh, Dating vs Marriage, Is chivalry dead & what is the woman’s role, and Dating Do’s and Don’ts.

The article mentioned can be found at blog.okcupid.com

The books referenced by R. Mordant Mahon

 

The Other Side of LIVE! #2 – Relationships & Romance

February 2, 2011 by Success Freaks

http://media.blubrry.com/mordantworld/www.successfreaks.com/podcast/TOSOL2-Relationships.mp3

Podcast: Play in new window | Download | Embed

Subscribe: RSS


Mordant is joined by Charles McFall, Rhonni DuBoise, and Naomi Mimi to discus the valentines spirit. The group starts off asking what do you do for Valentines day, they discuss the idea of having a date night at least once a week, and we find out what country valentines originated in. Other ideas discussed include romance happening all of the time, “what about prince charming?”, the ebb an flow of relationships, and protecting your union.

In this episode R. Mordant Mahon referenced:

The Other Side of LIVE! #1 – Your 2011

January 18, 2011 by Success Freaks

http://media.blubrry.com/mordantworld/www.successfreaks.com/podcast/TOSOL1-ready-fire-aim.mp3

Podcast: Play in new window | Download | Embed

Subscribe: RSS

In this debut podcast Mordant is joined by Charles Mcfall of the Bear Crawling Nation as he asks how you are dealing with the resolutions of 2011. He talks about about the ideas of:

  • Moving towards a healthier you
  • Moving from resolution to revolution
  • Dealing with failed resolutions
  • How to plan achievable steps
  • And phone calls from David, Margaret, Rhonni, and more.

In this episode Mordant references “The Happiness Advantage”:

 

 

  • « Previous Page
  • 1
  • …
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5

Subscribe in iTunes    Fan us on Facebook    Subscribe on YouTube    Friend us on Google +    Join us on Pinterest   

See us on Flickr    Subscribe through Feedburner    E-Mail Us    Follow Us on Twitter    Subscribe via RSS   

Listen to the latest show

SF #274 – When Things Don’t Go Your Way

There are perfect days, when the sun is shining, birds are singing, and babies giggle in joy at the site of you.  Then, there are those dark days When Things Don’t Go Your Way.  You know, the ones where you lose your keys, drop your phone in the toilet, and the dog uses the remote […]

[Read More...]
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/successfreaks/2016/11/29/sf-274--when-things-dont-go-your-way.mp3

Podcast: Play in new window | Download | Embed

Subscribe: RSS

Missed the past shows? Find them here.

Copyright © 2023 · Success Freaks ·

Copyright © 2023 · Success Freaks Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in