On this episode of Success Freaks, we jump right into “what the title of this week’s show means” and how it affects us all. In segment two, Charles talks about the psychology of Perception. Chatroom Query: How do you tell the difference between fear and instinct? In the Level Up section, we learn how to deal with our fears and be patient with those who are dealing with their own fear. In On Beyond, the discussion is about the emotion of Fear vs. respect and understanding. Plus… there’s Werewolves.
Mordant & McFall tackle the issue of when confidence in one person meets the worry wart in another, how to deal with the conflict, and how to shut up (on either side of the equation) and learn your lesson.
On this episode of Success Freaks, we promote a good cause, but somehow forget to set up the show. We hear what happens when co-workers clash between ‘Worry Wart’ and ‘It’s Fine!’ attitudes. We share a few personal stories of growth. In the Level Up, we learn to look for the lesson in every situation. And in On Beyond, we share the cartoon reactions we sometimes have to each other. [Read more…]
And yet here I am, actively giving advice on my show Success Freaks and one-on-one through Wizperts.com. Isn’t this a paradox? Maybe it doesn’t make sense to the world around us but it’s the truth. And that is what you need to hear right now. You know deep inside that there are no magic answers, that no one else can feel your pain like you do, and that no matter how great the advice is you will wake up tomorrow and still feel like your world is collapsing. I can’t help you with that…
However, I am listening. I am sitting here letting you know you are not alone in this world. I am here to remind you that tomorrow is a new day, that you have hope that it’s a better day than today, and above all else that you matter enough that I will take your call. To me that is the bottom line. You need someone to remind you that you do matter. I can do that.
At the darkest moment of my life I was so stressed from my work and my marriage I emotionally lost all control. I felt my grasp on stability slipping away and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I ended up freaking out, screaming, losing it all, and ended up under a table reeling from the explosion in my soul. At that moment I needed someone to tell me it was ok. I reached out to coworkers and they advised I seek help. I needed to hear that it would be ok, so I reached out to my friends and got left in the dark. I needed to hear it would be ok and went to the hospital. No one ever told me it would be ok. [Read more…]
It would be wonderful if chasing the American Dream was as “Happily Ever After” as it’s depicted to be. Often we have to slog through a lot of heavy lifting, horse manure (helps things grow), and unpleasant people to get where we’re going. Just as you are entering into a “relationship” with any job or career, you are also entering into relationships with the people you work with. It’s up to YOU whether you make it a good, bad or neutral experience. Many of you spend mucho time in a work environment, which means you’re spending mucho time with co-workers. If you decide those relationships are going to be bad, you’ll be right.
“What you think about, you bring about.”
Spending that much time with anyone, especially if personalities clash, can often make for a very volatile work environment. Just know it’s not good enough to “sweep problems under a rug” and/or “stick your head in the sand” enough to ignore it. You have to make a conscious choice to find positive ways to deal with unpleasant work situations and/or relationships.
Questions of the week:
This month marks the beginning of “themed months” here on Success Freaks. February’s theme is “Relationships” and Mordant & McFall will tackle different types of relationship issues each week. Tonight this “Knight in Shining Armor” Comedic Motivational Show is all about the relationship you have with yourself, loving yourself, and being responsible for you own happiness.
The first step you must take on your path is to realize that you are responsible for your Life experiences. You are responsible for your own happiness. You, you, Y-O-U! For you to have the best life possible…or even just a better life, you have to accept responsibility for what happens in it and especially your own happiness. If you’re waiting for your “White Knight” to come to your rescue, you’re going to be waiting a long time. When it comes to “Saving Your Life,” you have to believe that the person best suited and most reliable to come to your rescue…is you.
This is where your journey of self-actualization begins. Start loving yourself enough to take responsibility for your Truth…your Consequences…your Life. “Every master started off as a disaster.” ~ T Harv Eker ~ When you become responsible you can fix whatever needs fixin’ in your own life.
Self-esteem (or self-worth), simply put, is how good we feel about ourselves and, believe it or not, it’s not something we’re born with. People that surround us, and certain circumstances, can cause us to feel unworthy of praise, greatness, and even love. Since studies have shown that 2 out of 3 people suffer from low self-esteem or self-worth, it’s easy to see why this problem came to mind for tonight’s topic.
In this episode, McFall and Guest Host LaLa Zigfreid tackle the subject of “Greater Self Worth.” Together they discuss the early damage and messages we received (whether real or imagined), what it took to start the inner changes of self-healing, and where they are today…with a touch on how, and where, they still need to grow. It’s an honest and open discussion that really fires up the chat room.
- http://instagr.am (Look for @MordantWorld & @Bearcrawling)
Yeah, you know me!
You down with O.P.P?
Yeah, you know me!
All of us have come face to face with family & friends who do not agree with, and quite often do not understand, what we are doing and what we are about. They are sure what you are doing is wrong and you will only wind up hurting yourself, others, and (even worse) them! Breaking through your defenses with knowing smiles and furrowed brows, they hide behind their super-friend guise of concern and offer up an unending stream of advice. When this fails to talk sense into you, their “friendly” advice becomes more pronounced… aggressive… sometimes, even threatening.
How can you be so blind?!
Can’t you see what you’re doing—how you’re hurting yourself and everyone around you?
How can you be so selfish?!
Sound familiar? It does to me—even the “bastard” part. (Okay, maybe I’m paraphrasing… taking poetic license and being a tad overdramatic. But, that’s how it sounds in my head.) All the high dramatics aside, I’m here to tell you…
“It’s none of your business what other people think of you.”
(In “quotation marks” because many others have said this before—“I stand on the shoulders of giants.”)
It is human nature to want to keep the status quo. Home & office, friends & family—there is a hierarchy, a pecking order if you will that most people strive to keep. Office politics and corporate hierarchy often dictate that their denizens jockey for position like nobility at court. The same can be said of your friend and family social structures. No matter where you are in life, each group you come in contact with has its Alpha, its Beta, and even its Psi & Omega.
Then you come along….
With your highfalutin ideas about changing your life for the better. It’s not “good.” It’s not “normal.” Others certainly don’t want you altering things… especially if this means they’ll be moving down a few rungs on the social ladder.
Is this true?
Am I telling you this so you can be pissed off at the injustice of it all?
Mostly I’m telling you so you will understand why it happens, recognize it when it happens. It doesn’t affect you. At least, it doesn’t have to. Why? Because you see it coming and you can steel your self-esteem against the onslaught of their crippling barbs & jeers?
No. Well… some, but mostly no.
It doesn’t affect you because…
“It’s none of your business what other people think of you.” Still.
There is a story I’ve heard about crabs in a bucket. It seems you only have to put a lid over the bucket when you have caught only the first one. After that, when you have more crabs in the bucket, they do all the work. Even though safety, freedom, and a much longer lifespan reside on the outside, the remaining crabs pull the would-be escapee back down to their level.
To the bucket.
To their doom.
It is human nature to do the same thing…mostly without the impending doom. Mostly. You see, this behavior has spelled the death of many a dream. Pull them down enough and creative types will finally come to their senses, leaving go of an inspiration that “probably” wouldn’t go anywhere anyway. A crushed spirit can lead to a safe & secure J-O-B.
Remember, others forcing their Perceptions and Opinions on you = Peer Pressure. This was a big pain in the butt during high school & college. It’s time to begin growing past this now.
Are people actually holding you back? Physically? Really?! Or could it be that you value their opinions over yours? You’re worried about what other people might think, so you buckle under the perceived “pressure.” You hold your tongue instead of offering your brilliant suggestion at the board meeting. One week later, you watch Johnston submitting your idea, receiving all the praise.
That idea-stealing, dream-crushing glory thief.
He kept you back. He held you down. When you shared your idea with him he physically… did nothing. Other than physically open his mouth, suggesting your idea “outlandish.” You did the rest. Worried about what your coworkers might think, you kept your mouth shut.
You did it.
Instead of worrying about what anybody else thought, Johnston stuck his neck out and offered up your idea. Sure, he’s not going to win Team Player of the Year, but who cares?! He’s on his way up & out of the bucket and you’re not.
Next time you have another brilliant idea (don’t worry, you will; you have them all the time), speak up. Whether it’s about your job, some creative spark, or a dream you just can’t quit—make your move.
Don’t worry about what others think.
Why should you? They’re not worried about you. Not really.
People are too enmeshed in their own lead role to worry about your bit part in their life. Everybody’s got their own stuff going on. Their world, and opinion of you, is colored by that. It’s not personal. Remember, everyone is hip deep in their own sheep sugar and the smell is why they’re making that funny face—not you.
But, what if they’re right… and you’re not!?
Life is a game, meant to be played—an experiment where you try new things. Often you will fall flat on your face…and that’s okay—great even! This is how we learn how to do this thing called Life. As long as you’re not hurting yourself or others, muck things up a bit. Take chances. Ready, fire, then aim as you go. It’s okay—you’re doing fine!
Only you can decide what your life is about—what’s important, what’s not. At the end of the day, Y-O-U are responsible for your own experiences. That means you can make mistakes and….
You can fix them!
These are your lessons. You have to learn them, to go through “the fire” sometimes in order to Level Up Your Life. When it comes to your life, you are responsible—yours is the opinion that matters. I’m not going to tell you that everything will always work out the way you want. In fact, often, when you get what you want, it winds up not looking anything like you thought it might. Is this some cruel cosmic joke?
No. Maybe. Sure. Who cares!
Whatever happens, isn’t it better to follow your passion? To attempt even a few of your “crazy” ideas? Rather than suffer a life of “quiet desperation”? You might surprise yourself. You will fall flat on your face…a lot. But, that’s okay. That’s why you’re here. To run and fall and skin your knees… and create a great life for yourself.
So, what do you say?
You down with O.P.P.?
No way, not me!
You down with O.P.P.?
No way, not me!
You know what? Me neither.
“I took the road less traveled, and it has made all the difference.”
For more on this topic, check out the podcast >>TOSOL #55 – Down With O.P.P. (Other People’s Perceptions)? <<
Why do we allow Other People’s Perceptions to affect us? Why do we put so much “stock” in what other people think of us? Can we change from a person constantly brought down by other people’s opinions to one with a positive sense of self-worth? On the flip-side, how should one deal with overly positive feedback?
In this episode, our You’re-Not-the-Boss-of-Me hosts, Mordant & McFall, discuss how the words, actions, and opinions of others can negatively affect us. We further learn how to overcome these obstacles by realizing:
>>It’s none of your business what others think of you.
>>Only you can decide what your life is about – what’s important and what’s not important.
>>Remember, they are as “afraid” of you as you are of them.
>>When it comes to your life, you are responsible – yours is the opinion that matters.
- http://instagr.am (Look for @MordantWorld & @Bearcrawling)
An injured Gangplank-Studios Mordant (he bit his tongue) begins the show with some gringo-with-a-lisp Spanish, while Monticello-Bear’s-Den McFall makes us laugh at his growing pains with “Chaos & Coffee in the Mornings.”
Our podcasting/talk radio Divas use laughter to introduce us to a very somber subject and touch on some very important points to help us get past the difficult times.
If you’ve ever felt left out…if you’ve ever been bullied or picked on…if you’ve ever felt different and like you were all alone in your plight, THIS is the show for you! The chat room was filled with people sharing their difficult memories, DaDenMan, Kamori, and Othoron called in with their thoughts and both Mordant & McFall talked about the things they went through growing up. Although we can all laugh at them now, everyone agrees that it was hard at the time. However, everyone also acknowledged that IT definitely does GET BETTER and that YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
***T. Harv Eker
Live from the Gangplank Studio in Chandler, AZ & the Bear Crawling Nation Bear’s Den in Monticello, GA, Mordant & Charles welcome their special Saint Valentine’s Day guest, Sarina Stone. Tonight they talk about romance, sex, and even dance all over your relationship comfort zones. Sarina is an internationally renowned Natural Health Consultant, Certified Universal Healing Tao Instructor, and Author of multiple books including her latest, Why Real Couples Drink Straight Tequila—The Tao of Commitment.
***Charles likes Chocolate shopping after Valentine’s Day
***Hello, Sarina Stone
***Sarina thanks Mordant for his help with her first book
*** “Conscious Relationships”
***Being in relationships and making choices
*** “The common denominator in my relationships is me”
***Sarina discusses celebrating Valentine’s Day
***The Tao of Tequila
***Sex, Romance, & the Holistic Medicine
***Sarina’s closing advice for Valentine’s Day
***SarinaStone.com for free mp3 – “Inner Smile Meditation”
***Mordant received Chocolate-covered Strawberries for Valentine’s Day
***Next week Mordant & Charles concentrate on “Success Freaks”…and, perhaps, “The Positive of Negative Emotions” & “What You Think Affects Your Reality”…maybe