Success Freaks

Helping Others be Awesome

Success Freaks #106 – “Freedom To Be Yourself” w/Special Guest Judah Swilley

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An important part of freedom is the freedom to be yourself and change yourself for the better.  To do this, you must first discover what you can do to “Be Free to Be You.”

In Success Freaks Episode #106, Mordant & McFall are joined by Judah Swilley as they discuss how we are all free to be ourselves and how, through this freedom, we have all changed through the years.  Listen as they discuss, dissect, and entertain you with personal stories of their failures and what it took to grow from them.  The changes they have gone through since their high school days have a familiar ring to them as you find your own story in their collective and individual journeys.

Take a break from your normal routine of just letting things happen and begin rewriting the story of your life.  With a just a little focused attention, you’ll be amazed at how success-freaky seeds already planted take root and begin to grow and grow and grow until you become the person you were always free to be.

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I Can’t Help You

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And yet here I am, actively giving advice on my show Success Freaks and one-on-one through Wizperts.com. Isn’t this a paradox? Maybe it doesn’t make sense to the world around us but it’s the truth. And that is what you need to hear right now. You know deep inside that there are no magic answers, that no one else can feel your pain like you do, and that no matter how great the advice is you will wake up tomorrow and still feel like your world is collapsing. I can’t help you with that…

However, I am listening. I am sitting here letting you know you are not alone in this world. I am here to remind you that tomorrow is a new day, that you have hope that it’s a better day than today, and above all else that you matter enough that I will take your call. To me that is the bottom line. You need someone to remind you that you do matter. I can do that.
At the darkest moment of my life I was so stressed from my work and my marriage I emotionally lost all control. I felt my grasp on stability slipping away and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I ended up freaking out, screaming, losing it all, and ended up under a table reeling from the explosion in my soul. At that moment I needed someone to tell me it was ok. I reached out to coworkers and they advised I seek help. I needed to hear that it would be ok, so I reached out to my friends and got left in the dark. I needed to hear it would be ok and went to the hospital. No one ever told me it would be ok.  [Read more…]

Success Freaks #83 – “Here You Come To Save The Day”

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This month marks the beginning of “themed months” here on Success Freaks.  February’s theme is “Relationships” and Mordant & McFall will tackle different types of relationship issues each week.  Tonight  this “Knight in Shining Armor” Comedic Motivational Show is all about the relationship you have with yourself, loving yourself, and being responsible for you own happiness.

The first step you must take on your path is to realize that you are responsible for your  Life experiences.  You are responsible for your own happiness.  You, you, Y-O-U!  For you to have the best life possible…or even just a better life, you have to accept responsibility for what happens in it and especially your own happiness.  If you’re waiting for your “White Knight” to come to your rescue, you’re going to be waiting a long time.  When it comes to “Saving Your Life,” you have to believe that the person best suited and most reliable to come to your rescue…is you.

This is where your journey of self-actualization begins.  Start loving yourself enough to take responsibility for your Truth…your Consequences…your Life.  “Every master started off as a disaster.” ~ T Harv Eker ~  When you become responsible you can fix whatever needs fixin’ in your own life.

 ~ Don’t forget to order your tickets NOW for our Success Freaks Alive!  Level Up Your Live in 2013 which is our Conference we’ll be hosting in Covington, GA June 15 of this year. ~

 

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How Bad Do You Want It!? ~Part the Second~

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The Following is the second half of a very long blarticle.  The first half can be found at:

http://www.mordantworld.com/how-bad-do-you-want-it-part-the-first.html.  If you haven’t already done it, I suggest you read “How Bad Do You Want It!?  ~Part the First~” first.  Enjoy!

First things first—decide on, then commit to, this “It” that you want.  I’m sure you already know what it is.  It’s been swimming around in the deep-end of your brain for quite a while now.  If you’re not sure, then ask yourself this question:  if you could Be, Do, Have anything you want….  If you had all the talent, looks, money, smarts, chutzpah—if you had whatever it took and you knew you would be a big success, what would you be?  Answer that and you have your dream, that thing you are truly passionate about, set out in front of you.  Now you know.  And, now it’s time to commit (that’s right—the “C” word) to doing something about it.  Now it’s time to turn your dream into a goal.

This is where your fantasy becomes a reality.

Next, you will begin researching, then plotting out the steps that will take you on this collision course with your future.  Remember, a dream without specific attainable steps is just that—a dream.  It’s those action steps that turn your wanna-be fantasy into something real—a goal.  That’s what is going to take you to the next level.

So, first you set your beacon, your goal, the destination on your dream-catching map.  Then, research what it’s going to take to get you to where you want to go…or at least the next step.  You can also try starting from your goal, then working your way backward, laying out each of the steps until you arrive at today.  I.e., first you take your goal, before that you _(actionable step)_, before that you _(actionable step)_, and so on, leading all the way back to where you are now.  This is called “The Merlin Method.”

No matter how you do it, you’ll have your actionable steps leading to your now attainable goal.  Now there’s only one thing left for you to do, and that is really do it.  Take those steps, one at a time if necessary, more if possible.  But, no matter what, the only way you’re going to obtain your goal is if you DO YOUR STEPS.  If you’re able to move forward with no problem—smooth sailing.  If not, then you’ve probably got something blocking your way.  This will certainly give you the opportunity to shine a light on whatever may stand in the way of you achieving your goal(s).  Especially if that “thing” is Y-O-U.  (A hard pill, I know, but swallow it down and let’s move on.)

Now that you’ve decided to take a look at what is standing in your way, what are you going to do about it?  Basically, “how bad do you want it!?”  More than: TV, video games, time off from work, time out with your friends, Disneyland, Disney World, the big game, the Super Bowl, every must-see movie, books, blogs, Facebook, YouTube, _(your distraction here)_, the list is never-ending.  What are you willing to sacrifice so that your dream may become a reality?  If this really is your dream, you goal, your passion, then it shouldn’t be too difficult to drop everything else in pursuit of this one very important thing, right?

Yeah, you’d think that, wouldn’t you?

If that were the case, then people would be achieving their goals and attaining their dreams every day.  Hell, you’d be already halfway there yourself.  But, you’re not, are you?  Chances are if you’ve taken the time to read this far into this blarticle, then you’re looking for a little help in the whole in-pursuit-of-your-dreams area.  A lot of the problem is that we as people are not always that focused and we’re easily distracted.  At the end of an oh-so hard day, who wants to knock out a couple more hours in front to a computer, just to pursue something that may never come to fruition anyway?

Successful people, that’s who.

If you want to be successful at any level with this thing, this “It” you say you “want to be when you grow up,” then eventually you’re going to have to log in some serious time and effort.  But, for now, here at the beginning, I think you might begin with a couple to a few hours a week of trading your TV time in for something you keep saying is more important to you.

But, I don’t have enough time left in the week, you say.  I’m tired when I get home from work, you whine.  I don’t want to miss my television programs—don’t even get me started with this one!  Let’s look at it this way…how much time do you actually put in as you trek towards your goal?  If there’s 168 hours in a week (there are).  And, you take 56 out for sleep (provided you get eight hours of sleep every day of the week) and 40 hours for the J-O-B.  That leaves you with roughly 72 hours to devote to doing something dream dedicated.  That’s three full 24-hour days.  Do you think you might be able to squeeze in four to five hours for the week?  How about an hour or two a day?  One hour?  Do you think you could set aside one hour a day for working on becoming this thing you say you’d most want to be in life?

Does this put things in perspective for you?

So, we’re back to the original question, how bad do you want it!!  Do you really want to Do, Be, Have this incredible “It”?  Or are you going to sit back, relax, grab the clicker and continue watching your life pass you by as you rev the engine to 15 mph, burning out down that Mediocre Highway?  As always, the choice…the decision is up to you.  And, so is the fight.  You’re going to have to combat yourself of all people, slogging your way through your laziness, self-doubt, and lame limiting-belief system to get to a Bigger, Badder, Better, More level of your Life.  But…the fight is worth it.  It will change you, for the better—into the type of person you need to be to accomplish all you say you desire and Be, Do, Have the heretofore elusive “It.”  What do you say—wanna give it a go?  It’s not that hard once you get started.

Go ahead…show the world, and yourself, how bad you want it.

~R. Mordant Mahon~

How Bad Do You Want It!? ~Part the First~

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How badly do you want it?

Really, how bad?

By “it” I mean that dream you keep talking about.  That goal you keep putting off or never have enough time to pursue.  That special “it” you’ve waited forever to sink your teeth into, taking a firm bite out of the best this life could offer you.  How badly to you want to flying scissors kick it to the ground, hogtie it with rope you braided from your hopes & visions about your wanna-be life, and make it your bitch?

Really, how bad?

Bad enough to give up a little TV?  Or your favorite video game?  Or time with your friends?  How badly do you want this thing you say you want?  This pie-in-the-sky pipedream you know you’ll never do anything about, but you swear that you’ll get to it soon….  Tomorrow….  Someday.

Nike has a saying:

“Yesterday you said tomorrow.”

The problem is, as we all know, tomorrow never comes.  All you ever have is today.  Today to pay your bills.  Today to raise your kids.  Today to take that vacation.  Today to become a writer, an artist, a _(fill in the blank)_.  Today to Become.  They say Time is a thief.  But, so is apathy.  And, so is complacency.  If you do not stoke that fire burning in your belly, feed that desire yearning to create your destiny, then someday—maybe even tomorrow—you will suffer the “joy” of regret at never having accomplished, hell, maybe never even having attempted to Do, Be, Have that “It” you’ve always wanted.

Sucks, doesn’t it?

Believe me when I tell you that you are not alone.  Nope, not by a longshot.  I, too, suffer from the same affliction you do.  That’s right, sometimes life is so good enough that I don’t feel the need to push it further.  I mean, why would I?  I am comfortable right where I’m at.  I do have it pretty good after all.  Why would I push to go anywhere that might take me away from here?  Especially when it means I will have to cross over into that dark and foreboding place known as Outside My Comfort Zone.  Especially when it means I might have to work to get where I want to go and, most likely, work very hard at this thing I’m just a-playin’ with now.

Yuck!

Why?  Because what lies beyond this velvet trap is everything I say I want out of life.  Unless I’m just fooling myself, adventure and glory are there….  As well as self-respect and a deep sense of accomplishment.  Not altruistic enough for you?  How about the ability to better help others and teach them to help themselves?  Will that satisfy your yearning to make a difference in this world?  Whatever your personal “It” is, you’re going to have to do more than hope and dream, plot and plan to achieve it.

Because, despite expressions to the contrary, “It” doesn’t just happen.

So, what are you going to do about it?  What, in fact can you do about it?  You still only have the same amount of time you were stuck with at the beginning of this blarticle.  Less, actually.  Is there anything you can do to put yourself back on the fast track to achieving your dream?

Yes, of course there is.

First you have to realize that, not only can you do something, but it’s your responsibility.

What!?

You heard me.  Ultimately, it all falls on you—the success, the failure, the mediocrity of being stuck somewhere in the middle—that’s all on you, baby.  But, don’t worry; that’s the good news.

Again…what!?

No foolin’—this is the good part.  The fact that you are the person responsible for your situation in this life is a good thing.  In fact, it’s probably the best thing you’ve read thus far.

I know it’s the most important.

Once you take full responsibility for everything that’s going on, you begin to realize that you can effect a change.  You can make a difference in your own life.  Wouldn’t you rather have it that way, than to have to sit around and wait for some knight in shining armor to come to your rescue?  Well, guess what.  You’re your own knight in shining armor.  It’s up to you to come and save the day.

Daunting, huh?  Don’t worry; it gets better.

What does all this have to do with “how bad do you want it!?”  Everything.  It is up to you to motivate yourself beyond the dreaming stage.  You are the person who has to create goals, set achievable baby steps, begin moving forward and adjust as you go.  “How bad do you want it!?” means just that.  How much more than mere lip service are you willing to give in order to Be, Do, Have this “It” you say you want?

Time is the Dream Killer.

If you think you don’t have enough time to get everything you’d like to accomplish off the backburner and onto your plate, you’re absolutely right!

What!?

You heard me…you are correct-o-mundo.  There will never be enough time for you to write that book, get that doctorate, learn to play the guitar, pursue that singing career, become a big brother, see the world.  Never, never, never…and I mean NEVER!

Then, why bother?

Because it can be done, but you have to do it.  You have to create the necessary space in your life for those things you want to accomplish (or, at least, say you want to accomplish).  You’re going to have to shift things around.  You might even (not might, really—probably) have to get up early/stay up late in order to move forward, step by step, toward your goals.  There will be sacrifices.  Those self-same sacrifices I mentioned earlier in the blarticle.  This, specifically, is what “how bad do you want it!?” is referring to.  Do you want it more that your TV, your video games, your nights out with friends?  Are you worthy of these dreams you are laying claim to?  If not, then perhaps they’re not worthy of you.

Something to think about, isn’t it?

~R. Mordant Mahon~

TOSOL #61 – Birthday Boy Blues

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Birthdays are fun, right?  Once a year we all get to celebrate the date of our birth.  We go out to dinner with friends, have a private party with someone special, or we celebrate with our family.  It’s a fun day that we look forward to all year.  The party, the balloons, the laughter, the gifts and the cake, people!

There are some, however, who simply are not interested in Birthdays or any of the hoopla surrounding them. They don’t want to celebrate or be reminded of anything Birthday related.

In tonight’s episode, Mordant leads McFall down a road of discovery to find out why McFall has such a hard time with Birthdays and everything they entail.  The journey takes our Late-Night Soul-Searching Motivational Team on a very interesting trip into issues regarding self-esteem, receiving-muscles and self-love.  This show resonated with many of our listeners and brought out emotions no one expected.

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Highlights:

***Charles’s Amazon Birthday Wish List

***TOSOL #60 – “AutoMagic Goals – Success Freaks 09 September”

***The Five Love Languages

***Excuses Begone!

***Ghandi

***The Ripple Effect

***Lisa Nichols

***TuneIn

 

Honorable Mentions: 

 

Down With O.P.P. (Other People’s Perceptions)?

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Yeah, you know me!

You down with O.P.P?

Yeah, you know me!

All of us have come face to face with family & friends who do not agree with, and quite often do not understand, what we are doing and what we are about.  They are sure what you are doing is wrong and you will only wind up hurting yourself, others, and (even worse) them!  Breaking through your defenses with knowing smiles and furrowed brows, they hide behind their super-friend guise of concern and offer up an unending stream of advice.  When this fails to talk sense into you, their “friendly” advice becomes more pronounced… aggressive… sometimes, even threatening.

How can you be so blind?!

Can’t you see what you’re doing—how you’re hurting yourself and everyone around you?

How can you be so selfish?!

You Bastard!

Sound familiar?  It does to me—even the “bastard” part.  (Okay, maybe I’m paraphrasing… taking poetic license and being a tad overdramatic.  But, that’s how it sounds in my head.)  All the high dramatics aside, I’m here to tell you…

“It’s none of your business what other people think of you.”

(In “quotation marks” because many others have said this before—“I stand on the shoulders of giants.”)

It is human nature to want to keep the status quo.  Home & office, friends & family—there is a hierarchy, a pecking order if you will that most people strive to keep.  Office politics and corporate hierarchy often dictate that their denizens jockey for position like nobility at court.  The same can be said of your friend and family social structures.  No matter where you are in life, each group you come in contact with has its Alpha, its Beta, and even its Psi & Omega.

Then you come along….

With your highfalutin ideas about changing your life for the better.  It’s not “good.”  It’s not “normal.”  Others certainly don’t want you altering things… especially if this means they’ll be moving down a few rungs on the social ladder.

Is this true?

Some yes.

Am I telling you this so you can be pissed off at the injustice of it all?

Mostly no.

Mostly I’m telling you so you will understand why it happens, recognize it when it happens.  It doesn’t affect you.  At least, it doesn’t have to.  Why?  Because you see it coming and you can steel your self-esteem against the onslaught of their crippling barbs & jeers?

No.  Well… some, but mostly no.

It doesn’t affect you because…

“It’s none of your business what other people think of you.”  Still.

There is a story I’ve heard about crabs in a bucket.  It seems you only have to put a lid over the bucket when you have caught only the first one.  After that, when you have more crabs in the bucket, they do all the work.  Even though safety, freedom, and a much longer lifespan reside on the outside, the remaining crabs pull the would-be escapee back down to their level.

To the bucket.

To their doom.

It is human nature to do the same thing…mostly without the impending doom.  Mostly.  You see, this behavior has spelled the death of many a dream.  Pull them down enough and creative types will finally come to their senses, leaving go of an inspiration that “probably” wouldn’t go anywhere anyway.  A crushed spirit can lead to a safe & secure J-O-B.

Remember, others forcing their Perceptions and Opinions on you = Peer Pressure.  This was a big pain in the butt during high school & college.  It’s time to begin growing past this now.

Are people actually holding you back?  Physically?  Really?!  Or could it be that you value their opinions over yours?  You’re worried about what other people might think, so you buckle under the perceived “pressure.”  You hold your tongue instead of offering your brilliant suggestion at the board meeting.  One week later, you watch Johnston submitting your idea, receiving all the praise.

Johnston.

That idea-stealing, dream-crushing glory thief.

He kept you back.  He held you down.  When you shared your idea with him he physically… did nothing.  Other than physically open his mouth, suggesting your idea “outlandish.”  You did the rest.  Worried about what your coworkers might think, you kept your mouth shut.

You did it.

You-you-you!

Instead of worrying about what anybody else thought, Johnston stuck his neck out and offered up your idea.  Sure, he’s not going to win Team Player of the Year, but who cares?!  He’s on his way up & out of the bucket and you’re not.

Next time you have another brilliant idea (don’t worry, you will; you have them all the time), speak up.  Whether it’s about your job, some creative spark, or a dream you just can’t quit—make your move.

Don’t worry about what others think.

Why should you?  They’re not worried about you.  Not really.

People are too enmeshed in their own lead role to worry about your bit part in their life.  Everybody’s got their own stuff going on.  Their world, and opinion of you, is colored by that.  It’s not personal.  Remember, everyone is hip deep in their own sheep sugar and the smell is why they’re making that funny face—not you.

But, what if they’re right… and you’re not!?

Life is a game, meant to be played—an experiment where you try new things.  Often you will fall flat on your face…and that’s okay—great even!  This is how we learn how to do this thing called Life.  As long as you’re not hurting yourself or others, muck things up a bit.  Take chances.  Ready, fire, then aim as you go.  It’s okay—you’re doing fine!

Only you can decide what your life is about—what’s important, what’s not.  At the end of the day, Y-O-U are responsible for your own experiences.  That means you can make mistakes and….

You can fix them!

These are your lessons.  You have to learn them, to go through “the fire” sometimes in order to Level Up Your Life.  When it comes to your life, you are responsible—yours is the opinion that matters.  I’m not going to tell you that everything will always work out the way you want.  In fact, often, when you get what you want, it winds up not looking anything like you thought it might.  Is this some cruel cosmic joke?

No.  Maybe.  Sure.  Who cares!

Whatever happens, isn’t it better to follow your passion?  To attempt even a few of your “crazy” ideas?  Rather than suffer a life of “quiet desperation”?  You might surprise yourself.  You will fall flat on your face…a lot.  But, that’s okay.  That’s why you’re here.  To run and fall and skin your knees… and create a great life for yourself.

So, what do you say?

You down with O.P.P.?

No way, not me!

You down with O.P.P.?

No way, not me!

You know what?  Me neither.

“I took the road less traveled, and it has made all the difference.”

~Robert Frost~

For more on this topic, check out the podcast >>TOSOL #55 – Down With O.P.P. (Other People’s Perceptions)? <<

TOSOL #55 – Down With O.P.P. (Other People’s Perceptions)?

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Why do we allow Other People’s Perceptions to affect us?  Why do we put so much “stock” in what other people think of us?  Can we change from a person constantly brought down by other people’s opinions to one with a positive sense of self-worth?  On the flip-side, how should one deal with overly positive feedback?

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In this episode, our You’re-Not-the-Boss-of-Me hosts, Mordant & McFall, discuss how the words, actions, and opinions of others can negatively affect us.  We further learn how to overcome these obstacles by realizing:

>>It’s none of your business what others think of you.

>>Only you can decide what your life is about – what’s important and   what’s not important.

>>Remember, they are as “afraid” of you as you are of them.

>>When it comes to your life, you are responsible – yours is the opinion that matters.

Highlights:

***TOSOL #54 – “Ass In Chair”

***Mordant’s Blog – Down With O.P.P. (Other People’s Perceptions)?

***Chick-fil-a

***Renaissance Outfitters

***Catherine Lanigan

***Romancing the Stone

***Jewel of the Nile

***Jack Canfield

***Landmark Forum

***7th Row Center

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Honorable Mentions: