Join in on our Life Questions Game, as we delve into many different topics during this show. Today we ask each other many questions about life that are both thought provoking and interesting. You will learn from us, cry with us and start to ask questions of yourself that will cause you to stretch your comfort zone and level up your life. Stay tuned till the end to get a special “British Accent” version of the show with Mordant & Kirsten. [Read more…]
Are you going through life waiting for good things to fall into your lap? Have you noticed this strategy hasn’t been as successful as you would like? Learn from Mordant & Kirsten as they attempt to educate you on the positives of paying to play in order to level up your life. It is easy to know what you don’t want, the challenge is to work through the struggles and figure out what you truly do want. Step outside of your comfort zone, fight through the growing pains and sacrifice to get to that level up moment! Make sure to stay tuned to the end and hear some of our failures that we encountered and learned from. You have got to find the fun in struggle and learn from it. [Read more…]
It seems that when the majority of us mess up, we let it get us down and linger on the disappointment for longer than necessary. You will find that although we make mistakes often in our daily lives, we have adopted ways to keep ourselves moving forward with our heads held high. We discuss different steps you can take to start feeling better now. You will also get a few bonus financial tips from mordant. And you won’t want to miss the end of this episode where we talk about dreams and Kirsten’s most recent predicament she got into. [Read more…]
It’s not all about you, but when it comes down to your feelings and emotions, it is your job to feel the way you truly do. Don’t let others dictate how you feel. Do let us help you be awesome. We here at Success Freaks are big fans of affirmations and using them to better our lives. You are gonna get lots of ideas on how to come up with affirmations that fit your life, and ways to implement them into your daily routine. Listen along as we discuss ways of taking back your feelings and creating a life of abundance and joy.
Affirmations for each other:
- Mordant’s affirmation for Kirsten – Do Epic Shit!
- Kirsten’s affirmation for Mordant – Spending time with friends gives me joy.
The kiddos are back in school. Fall semester is in full swing. While you are enjoying your free time without the kids or taking a break from studying, tune in for an extra credit class with the professors at Success Freaks. Getting schooled can be fun! Let Mordant & Kirsten show you the paths they have taken to make their schedule a little easier. Set up your future now, by applying the tools you gain from this episode so you can “pay it forward” to your future self. Cherry pick from this jam packed episode and commit to leveling up your life! Class dismissed. [Read more…]
Ever find yourself going merrily down your chosen life-path when all of the sudden BLAMMO! you’re hit with an unexpected turn of events that forces you to rethink all your plotting, planning, and forward momentum? What do you do then? How do you recover from all the grief and anguish, not to mention the embarrassment, of having to slam on the brakes and make a three-lane adjustment right in the middle of rush hour traffic? Mordant & Kirsten share and learn from each other on how to change the direction of their habits and life choices.
You are going to get pulled in many directions on this episode of Success Freaks! Hear about many unique situations and how Mordant & Kirsten adjusted to them on the fly. There are plenty of tips and tricks to take away from this show as you learn to help yourself and others be awesome. [Read more…]
Learn with us as we chat about some ways to avoid comparing your life with those you see daily on social media. We dive into reasons why you should avoid the anger and negativity that can be found as well as ways to deal with run ins with real life conversations. From time to time you will run into negative situations. These are the times where we need to ask what makes us joyful and walk away if it doesn’t make us happy. And, make sure to stick around for the over share of the month from Mordant at the end of the episode. [Read more…]
We know us here at Success Freaks are not perfect, so we use apps to help us stay on track. Join us in a discussion about different life hacks that are bringing us value day to day. You are bound to find one or two new ways to improve your life, or at the very least help someone else you know be awesome. After trying some of our suggestions we would love to hear about your experiences as well as any other suggestions you may have to hack our lives! [Read more…]
In today’s episode you get to meet Keerstin (again), our brand spanking new co-host of Success Freaks! Listen along as she tells about a recent “swimming” excursion she went on and fills us in on what she has been up to prior to joining the team. Mordant & Keerstin dig deep into their first listener question together as well as give some advice on being happy, getting out of a rut and much more. Open your ears and your hearts, as we “welcome, welcome, welcome” Keerstin to the show! [Read more…]
Travel along the SF timeline from the initial dating, marriage, conception, the raising of their baby and “divorce”. Learn with us, as we realize the path we took is the one we needed to be on and where our paths are leading now.
Join us as Mike, our producer, moderates our discussion as we look back at where we came from, where we were and where we are going. We talk about the good, the bad and the “beautiful”. Reminisce and learn along with us as we reflect on our ups and downs. When you make it to the end of this wild and reflective ride, dry your eyes and take the turns with us as we go our separate ways. (Lucky for you, you can take both the hard left and the sharp right). Help us bid farewell to the Dark Side of Positive, Charles McFall, in his final “official” episode of Success Freaks. Make sure to tune in next week as we meet our new co-host and travel down the new Success Freaks highway. [Read more…]
In this hustle-and-bustle-of-staying-connected-social-media life that is now such a large part of your existence, you need a resting period. Remember those? In kindergarten, it was nap time. In elementary school, recess was the perfect time for you to relax your growing, soaking-it-all-in brains and recharge. In college…it was your after-classes nap time—Life coming full circle. What about today?
How do you reboot, rebuild, and recharge?
Do you even?
“Have patience with all things, but, first of all with yourself.”
~Saint Francis de Sales~
Sitting in an office chair in the backyard of my friend EJ’s house, and my thoughts turn trippingly towards Patience. Not your run-of-the-mill, garden-variety, patience-is-a-virtue Patience either. Nope.
Not for today.
Not for you.
For you I save the good stuff. The stuff that runs a little deeper. More personal.
I want to discuss having patience with yourself and your process. Cutting yourself some slack as you begin or continue on your path towards self-actualization. It’s easy to pinpoint what needs doing when you think about patience with everyone outside your personal bubble. There are steps you can take to ease the pain of their annoying stimuli, no matter how much they are exasperating you at present. If all else fails—the smiling, the prayer, the counting to 10—you can always up and walk away. Any of these techniques are done simply enough and your world is set back in balance—if you put forth the effort it takes to keep everything flowing “merrily, merrily down the stream.”
What is Courage? What does it mean and what does it take to have courage? I’ve heard it said, “Courage is a lie that old men tell to young men when they send them off to die.” A clever maxim, yet I believe there is more to courage than that. One of my favorite John Wayne quotes is:
“Courage is being scared to death…but saddling up anyways.”
If you believe what the late-great Duke said, Fear is an active ingredient in courage. How can this be? Isn’t courage the absence of fear? Aren’t the bravest of the brave those without fear? The correct answer here is…no.
Courage is not about feeling no fear at all—a double negative, yet true nonetheless. You cannot have courage without fear. Courage and bravery mean having fear while maintaining the ability to move forward in spite of your obstacles, real or imagined, and get the job done. If you have no fear, then it doesn’t take any special fortitude. Nothing out of the ordinary in the way of grit or guts to keep you on track for deeds of daring do. You’re just doing your job—no problemo. It is when you have fear and then combine it with the need to keep moving forward anyways—this is when courage comes into play.
Why is it you allow yourself to get caught up with the things you say you do not want in your life? You focus on your problems, knowing full well what you focus on grows and grows and grows…Your blood pressure skyrockets and your stomach bleeds fresh ulcers as you wring your hands in consternation. What’s up with that?!
Wouldn’t it be better to fix your attention on those things you want? Whether it’s to Be, Do, Have—whatever it is you desire—shouldn’t you be fixated on that? Even a little bit? And, since you’re co-creating your world by putting your conscious and subconscious thoughts in gear, shouldn’t you put more effort into training your brain to lean towards the positive? If that is the way the Universe works (it is), then why-oh-why are you wasting your time mainlining negative drama? If you’re going to be addicted to something, then shouldn’t it be something that lets you off at a much brighter place than the spot where you began this ride?
Tim Gillette is America’s Rockstar Coach. He shows people how to live their dreams. Working with Entrepreneurs, helping them to build a life they love and achieve Rockstar status in life and business.
The Rocker Life Coach Radio Show introduces you to people who make Dreams happen in America. Learn from the struggles and the joys that made them a Rockstar.
Join us this week for another story of living the dream
Right after finishing my brownbag speech at Gangplank Chandler, I chat up Jay about my experience and what Gangplank is all about. Check it out: http://gangplankhq.com/ Distributed by OneLoad.com
The Following is the second half of a very long blarticle. The first half can be found at:
http://www.mordantworld.com/how-bad-do-you-want-it-part-the-first.html. If you haven’t already done it, I suggest you read “How Bad Do You Want It!? ~Part the First~” first. Enjoy!
First things first—decide on, then commit to, this “It” that you want. I’m sure you already know what it is. It’s been swimming around in the deep-end of your brain for quite a while now. If you’re not sure, then ask yourself this question: if you could Be, Do, Have anything you want…. If you had all the talent, looks, money, smarts, chutzpah—if you had whatever it took and you knew you would be a big success, what would you be? Answer that and you have your dream, that thing you are truly passionate about, set out in front of you. Now you know. And, now it’s time to commit (that’s right—the “C” word) to doing something about it. Now it’s time to turn your dream into a goal.
This is where your fantasy becomes a reality.
Next, you will begin researching, then plotting out the steps that will take you on this collision course with your future. Remember, a dream without specific attainable steps is just that—a dream. It’s those action steps that turn your wanna-be fantasy into something real—a goal. That’s what is going to take you to the next level.
So, first you set your beacon, your goal, the destination on your dream-catching map. Then, research what it’s going to take to get you to where you want to go…or at least the next step. You can also try starting from your goal, then working your way backward, laying out each of the steps until you arrive at today. I.e., first you take your goal, before that you _(actionable step)_, before that you _(actionable step)_, and so on, leading all the way back to where you are now. This is called “The Merlin Method.”
No matter how you do it, you’ll have your actionable steps leading to your now attainable goal. Now there’s only one thing left for you to do, and that is really do it. Take those steps, one at a time if necessary, more if possible. But, no matter what, the only way you’re going to obtain your goal is if you DO YOUR STEPS. If you’re able to move forward with no problem—smooth sailing. If not, then you’ve probably got something blocking your way. This will certainly give you the opportunity to shine a light on whatever may stand in the way of you achieving your goal(s). Especially if that “thing” is Y-O-U. (A hard pill, I know, but swallow it down and let’s move on.)
Now that you’ve decided to take a look at what is standing in your way, what are you going to do about it? Basically, “how bad do you want it!?” More than: TV, video games, time off from work, time out with your friends, Disneyland, Disney World, the big game, the Super Bowl, every must-see movie, books, blogs, Facebook, YouTube, _(your distraction here)_, the list is never-ending. What are you willing to sacrifice so that your dream may become a reality? If this really is your dream, you goal, your passion, then it shouldn’t be too difficult to drop everything else in pursuit of this one very important thing, right?
Yeah, you’d think that, wouldn’t you?
If that were the case, then people would be achieving their goals and attaining their dreams every day. Hell, you’d be already halfway there yourself. But, you’re not, are you? Chances are if you’ve taken the time to read this far into this blarticle, then you’re looking for a little help in the whole in-pursuit-of-your-dreams area. A lot of the problem is that we as people are not always that focused and we’re easily distracted. At the end of an oh-so hard day, who wants to knock out a couple more hours in front to a computer, just to pursue something that may never come to fruition anyway?
Successful people, that’s who.
If you want to be successful at any level with this thing, this “It” you say you “want to be when you grow up,” then eventually you’re going to have to log in some serious time and effort. But, for now, here at the beginning, I think you might begin with a couple to a few hours a week of trading your TV time in for something you keep saying is more important to you.
But, I don’t have enough time left in the week, you say. I’m tired when I get home from work, you whine. I don’t want to miss my television programs—don’t even get me started with this one! Let’s look at it this way…how much time do you actually put in as you trek towards your goal? If there’s 168 hours in a week (there are). And, you take 56 out for sleep (provided you get eight hours of sleep every day of the week) and 40 hours for the J-O-B. That leaves you with roughly 72 hours to devote to doing something dream dedicated. That’s three full 24-hour days. Do you think you might be able to squeeze in four to five hours for the week? How about an hour or two a day? One hour? Do you think you could set aside one hour a day for working on becoming this thing you say you’d most want to be in life?
Does this put things in perspective for you?
So, we’re back to the original question, how bad do you want it!! Do you really want to Do, Be, Have this incredible “It”? Or are you going to sit back, relax, grab the clicker and continue watching your life pass you by as you rev the engine to 15 mph, burning out down that Mediocre Highway? As always, the choice…the decision is up to you. And, so is the fight. You’re going to have to combat yourself of all people, slogging your way through your laziness, self-doubt, and lame limiting-belief system to get to a Bigger, Badder, Better, More level of your Life. But…the fight is worth it. It will change you, for the better—into the type of person you need to be to accomplish all you say you desire and Be, Do, Have the heretofore elusive “It.” What do you say—wanna give it a go? It’s not that hard once you get started.
Go ahead…show the world, and yourself, how bad you want it.
~R. Mordant Mahon~
How badly do you want it?
Really, how bad?
By “it” I mean that dream you keep talking about. That goal you keep putting off or never have enough time to pursue. That special “it” you’ve waited forever to sink your teeth into, taking a firm bite out of the best this life could offer you. How badly to you want to flying scissors kick it to the ground, hogtie it with rope you braided from your hopes & visions about your wanna-be life, and make it your bitch?
Really, how bad?
Bad enough to give up a little TV? Or your favorite video game? Or time with your friends? How badly do you want this thing you say you want? This pie-in-the-sky pipedream you know you’ll never do anything about, but you swear that you’ll get to it soon…. Tomorrow…. Someday.
Nike has a saying:
“Yesterday you said tomorrow.”
The problem is, as we all know, tomorrow never comes. All you ever have is today. Today to pay your bills. Today to raise your kids. Today to take that vacation. Today to become a writer, an artist, a _(fill in the blank)_. Today to Become. They say Time is a thief. But, so is apathy. And, so is complacency. If you do not stoke that fire burning in your belly, feed that desire yearning to create your destiny, then someday—maybe even tomorrow—you will suffer the “joy” of regret at never having accomplished, hell, maybe never even having attempted to Do, Be, Have that “It” you’ve always wanted.
Sucks, doesn’t it?
Believe me when I tell you that you are not alone. Nope, not by a longshot. I, too, suffer from the same affliction you do. That’s right, sometimes life is so good enough that I don’t feel the need to push it further. I mean, why would I? I am comfortable right where I’m at. I do have it pretty good after all. Why would I push to go anywhere that might take me away from here? Especially when it means I will have to cross over into that dark and foreboding place known as Outside My Comfort Zone. Especially when it means I might have to work to get where I want to go and, most likely, work very hard at this thing I’m just a-playin’ with now.
Why? Because what lies beyond this velvet trap is everything I say I want out of life. Unless I’m just fooling myself, adventure and glory are there…. As well as self-respect and a deep sense of accomplishment. Not altruistic enough for you? How about the ability to better help others and teach them to help themselves? Will that satisfy your yearning to make a difference in this world? Whatever your personal “It” is, you’re going to have to do more than hope and dream, plot and plan to achieve it.
Because, despite expressions to the contrary, “It” doesn’t just happen.
So, what are you going to do about it? What, in fact can you do about it? You still only have the same amount of time you were stuck with at the beginning of this blarticle. Less, actually. Is there anything you can do to put yourself back on the fast track to achieving your dream?
Yes, of course there is.
First you have to realize that, not only can you do something, but it’s your responsibility.
You heard me. Ultimately, it all falls on you—the success, the failure, the mediocrity of being stuck somewhere in the middle—that’s all on you, baby. But, don’t worry; that’s the good news.
No foolin’—this is the good part. The fact that you are the person responsible for your situation in this life is a good thing. In fact, it’s probably the best thing you’ve read thus far.
I know it’s the most important.
Once you take full responsibility for everything that’s going on, you begin to realize that you can effect a change. You can make a difference in your own life. Wouldn’t you rather have it that way, than to have to sit around and wait for some knight in shining armor to come to your rescue? Well, guess what. You’re your own knight in shining armor. It’s up to you to come and save the day.
Daunting, huh? Don’t worry; it gets better.
What does all this have to do with “how bad do you want it!?” Everything. It is up to you to motivate yourself beyond the dreaming stage. You are the person who has to create goals, set achievable baby steps, begin moving forward and adjust as you go. “How bad do you want it!?” means just that. How much more than mere lip service are you willing to give in order to Be, Do, Have this “It” you say you want?
Time is the Dream Killer.
If you think you don’t have enough time to get everything you’d like to accomplish off the backburner and onto your plate, you’re absolutely right!
You heard me…you are correct-o-mundo. There will never be enough time for you to write that book, get that doctorate, learn to play the guitar, pursue that singing career, become a big brother, see the world. Never, never, never…and I mean NEVER!
Then, why bother?
Because it can be done, but you have to do it. You have to create the necessary space in your life for those things you want to accomplish (or, at least, say you want to accomplish). You’re going to have to shift things around. You might even (not might, really—probably) have to get up early/stay up late in order to move forward, step by step, toward your goals. There will be sacrifices. Those self-same sacrifices I mentioned earlier in the blarticle. This, specifically, is what “how bad do you want it!?” is referring to. Do you want it more that your TV, your video games, your nights out with friends? Are you worthy of these dreams you are laying claim to? If not, then perhaps they’re not worthy of you.
Something to think about, isn’t it?
~R. Mordant Mahon~
That’s right—it’s time to Think Big-Grrr! Why is it that we are always limiting ourselves? We limit everything from our capabilities (what we can do) to our possibilities (who we can become). Think about it. If you thought you were capable of accomplishing so much more, that nothing could stop you, let alone stand in your way, wouldn’t you do a whole lot more with your life? Wouldn’t you be a lot more? Or are you truly happy with putting in your 40 hours at the J-O-B and kickin’ back weekends with your peeps, pallies, and posse? Because if that’s enough for you—and there’s nothing wrong with that being your whole world—you haven’t quite grasped the concept of Thinking Big. Grrr!
When you open up your mind to the possibilities of what you might could do if you really wanted to, if you knew what you could do and you went out and did it, then you might just conquer the world…or at least your neighborhood’s worth of it. (And, if you were really full of “it,” you might even convince yourself that you could get away with a run on sentence or two like that last one. FYI: I say do it—grammar be damned!)
Yeah, you know me!
You down with O.P.P?
Yeah, you know me!
All of us have come face to face with family & friends who do not agree with, and quite often do not understand, what we are doing and what we are about. They are sure what you are doing is wrong and you will only wind up hurting yourself, others, and (even worse) them! Breaking through your defenses with knowing smiles and furrowed brows, they hide behind their super-friend guise of concern and offer up an unending stream of advice. When this fails to talk sense into you, their “friendly” advice becomes more pronounced… aggressive… sometimes, even threatening.
How can you be so blind?!
Can’t you see what you’re doing—how you’re hurting yourself and everyone around you?
How can you be so selfish?!
Sound familiar? It does to me—even the “bastard” part. (Okay, maybe I’m paraphrasing… taking poetic license and being a tad overdramatic. But, that’s how it sounds in my head.) All the high dramatics aside, I’m here to tell you…
“It’s none of your business what other people think of you.”
(In “quotation marks” because many others have said this before—“I stand on the shoulders of giants.”)
It is human nature to want to keep the status quo. Home & office, friends & family—there is a hierarchy, a pecking order if you will that most people strive to keep. Office politics and corporate hierarchy often dictate that their denizens jockey for position like nobility at court. The same can be said of your friend and family social structures. No matter where you are in life, each group you come in contact with has its Alpha, its Beta, and even its Psi & Omega.
Then you come along….
With your highfalutin ideas about changing your life for the better. It’s not “good.” It’s not “normal.” Others certainly don’t want you altering things… especially if this means they’ll be moving down a few rungs on the social ladder.
Is this true?
Am I telling you this so you can be pissed off at the injustice of it all?
Mostly I’m telling you so you will understand why it happens, recognize it when it happens. It doesn’t affect you. At least, it doesn’t have to. Why? Because you see it coming and you can steel your self-esteem against the onslaught of their crippling barbs & jeers?
No. Well… some, but mostly no.
It doesn’t affect you because…
“It’s none of your business what other people think of you.” Still.
There is a story I’ve heard about crabs in a bucket. It seems you only have to put a lid over the bucket when you have caught only the first one. After that, when you have more crabs in the bucket, they do all the work. Even though safety, freedom, and a much longer lifespan reside on the outside, the remaining crabs pull the would-be escapee back down to their level.
To the bucket.
To their doom.
It is human nature to do the same thing…mostly without the impending doom. Mostly. You see, this behavior has spelled the death of many a dream. Pull them down enough and creative types will finally come to their senses, leaving go of an inspiration that “probably” wouldn’t go anywhere anyway. A crushed spirit can lead to a safe & secure J-O-B.
Remember, others forcing their Perceptions and Opinions on you = Peer Pressure. This was a big pain in the butt during high school & college. It’s time to begin growing past this now.
Are people actually holding you back? Physically? Really?! Or could it be that you value their opinions over yours? You’re worried about what other people might think, so you buckle under the perceived “pressure.” You hold your tongue instead of offering your brilliant suggestion at the board meeting. One week later, you watch Johnston submitting your idea, receiving all the praise.
That idea-stealing, dream-crushing glory thief.
He kept you back. He held you down. When you shared your idea with him he physically… did nothing. Other than physically open his mouth, suggesting your idea “outlandish.” You did the rest. Worried about what your coworkers might think, you kept your mouth shut.
You did it.
Instead of worrying about what anybody else thought, Johnston stuck his neck out and offered up your idea. Sure, he’s not going to win Team Player of the Year, but who cares?! He’s on his way up & out of the bucket and you’re not.
Next time you have another brilliant idea (don’t worry, you will; you have them all the time), speak up. Whether it’s about your job, some creative spark, or a dream you just can’t quit—make your move.
Don’t worry about what others think.
Why should you? They’re not worried about you. Not really.
People are too enmeshed in their own lead role to worry about your bit part in their life. Everybody’s got their own stuff going on. Their world, and opinion of you, is colored by that. It’s not personal. Remember, everyone is hip deep in their own sheep sugar and the smell is why they’re making that funny face—not you.
But, what if they’re right… and you’re not!?
Life is a game, meant to be played—an experiment where you try new things. Often you will fall flat on your face…and that’s okay—great even! This is how we learn how to do this thing called Life. As long as you’re not hurting yourself or others, muck things up a bit. Take chances. Ready, fire, then aim as you go. It’s okay—you’re doing fine!
Only you can decide what your life is about—what’s important, what’s not. At the end of the day, Y-O-U are responsible for your own experiences. That means you can make mistakes and….
You can fix them!
These are your lessons. You have to learn them, to go through “the fire” sometimes in order to Level Up Your Life. When it comes to your life, you are responsible—yours is the opinion that matters. I’m not going to tell you that everything will always work out the way you want. In fact, often, when you get what you want, it winds up not looking anything like you thought it might. Is this some cruel cosmic joke?
No. Maybe. Sure. Who cares!
Whatever happens, isn’t it better to follow your passion? To attempt even a few of your “crazy” ideas? Rather than suffer a life of “quiet desperation”? You might surprise yourself. You will fall flat on your face…a lot. But, that’s okay. That’s why you’re here. To run and fall and skin your knees… and create a great life for yourself.
So, what do you say?
You down with O.P.P.?
No way, not me!
You down with O.P.P.?
No way, not me!
You know what? Me neither.
“I took the road less traveled, and it has made all the difference.”
For more on this topic, check out the podcast >>TOSOL #55 – Down With O.P.P. (Other People’s Perceptions)? <<