Success Freaks

Helping Others be Awesome

Down With O.P.P. (Other People’s Perceptions)?

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Yeah, you know me!

You down with O.P.P?

Yeah, you know me!

All of us have come face to face with family & friends who do not agree with, and quite often do not understand, what we are doing and what we are about.  They are sure what you are doing is wrong and you will only wind up hurting yourself, others, and (even worse) them!  Breaking through your defenses with knowing smiles and furrowed brows, they hide behind their super-friend guise of concern and offer up an unending stream of advice.  When this fails to talk sense into you, their “friendly” advice becomes more pronounced… aggressive… sometimes, even threatening.

How can you be so blind?!

Can’t you see what you’re doing—how you’re hurting yourself and everyone around you?

How can you be so selfish?!

You Bastard!

Sound familiar?  It does to me—even the “bastard” part.  (Okay, maybe I’m paraphrasing… taking poetic license and being a tad overdramatic.  But, that’s how it sounds in my head.)  All the high dramatics aside, I’m here to tell you…

“It’s none of your business what other people think of you.”

(In “quotation marks” because many others have said this before—“I stand on the shoulders of giants.”)

It is human nature to want to keep the status quo.  Home & office, friends & family—there is a hierarchy, a pecking order if you will that most people strive to keep.  Office politics and corporate hierarchy often dictate that their denizens jockey for position like nobility at court.  The same can be said of your friend and family social structures.  No matter where you are in life, each group you come in contact with has its Alpha, its Beta, and even its Psi & Omega.

Then you come along….

With your highfalutin ideas about changing your life for the better.  It’s not “good.”  It’s not “normal.”  Others certainly don’t want you altering things… especially if this means they’ll be moving down a few rungs on the social ladder.

Is this true?

Some yes.

Am I telling you this so you can be pissed off at the injustice of it all?

Mostly no.

Mostly I’m telling you so you will understand why it happens, recognize it when it happens.  It doesn’t affect you.  At least, it doesn’t have to.  Why?  Because you see it coming and you can steel your self-esteem against the onslaught of their crippling barbs & jeers?

No.  Well… some, but mostly no.

It doesn’t affect you because…

“It’s none of your business what other people think of you.”  Still.

There is a story I’ve heard about crabs in a bucket.  It seems you only have to put a lid over the bucket when you have caught only the first one.  After that, when you have more crabs in the bucket, they do all the work.  Even though safety, freedom, and a much longer lifespan reside on the outside, the remaining crabs pull the would-be escapee back down to their level.

To the bucket.

To their doom.

It is human nature to do the same thing…mostly without the impending doom.  Mostly.  You see, this behavior has spelled the death of many a dream.  Pull them down enough and creative types will finally come to their senses, leaving go of an inspiration that “probably” wouldn’t go anywhere anyway.  A crushed spirit can lead to a safe & secure J-O-B.

Remember, others forcing their Perceptions and Opinions on you = Peer Pressure.  This was a big pain in the butt during high school & college.  It’s time to begin growing past this now.

Are people actually holding you back?  Physically?  Really?!  Or could it be that you value their opinions over yours?  You’re worried about what other people might think, so you buckle under the perceived “pressure.”  You hold your tongue instead of offering your brilliant suggestion at the board meeting.  One week later, you watch Johnston submitting your idea, receiving all the praise.

Johnston.

That idea-stealing, dream-crushing glory thief.

He kept you back.  He held you down.  When you shared your idea with him he physically… did nothing.  Other than physically open his mouth, suggesting your idea “outlandish.”  You did the rest.  Worried about what your coworkers might think, you kept your mouth shut.

You did it.

You-you-you!

Instead of worrying about what anybody else thought, Johnston stuck his neck out and offered up your idea.  Sure, he’s not going to win Team Player of the Year, but who cares?!  He’s on his way up & out of the bucket and you’re not.

Next time you have another brilliant idea (don’t worry, you will; you have them all the time), speak up.  Whether it’s about your job, some creative spark, or a dream you just can’t quit—make your move.

Don’t worry about what others think.

Why should you?  They’re not worried about you.  Not really.

People are too enmeshed in their own lead role to worry about your bit part in their life.  Everybody’s got their own stuff going on.  Their world, and opinion of you, is colored by that.  It’s not personal.  Remember, everyone is hip deep in their own sheep sugar and the smell is why they’re making that funny face—not you.

But, what if they’re right… and you’re not!?

Life is a game, meant to be played—an experiment where you try new things.  Often you will fall flat on your face…and that’s okay—great even!  This is how we learn how to do this thing called Life.  As long as you’re not hurting yourself or others, muck things up a bit.  Take chances.  Ready, fire, then aim as you go.  It’s okay—you’re doing fine!

Only you can decide what your life is about—what’s important, what’s not.  At the end of the day, Y-O-U are responsible for your own experiences.  That means you can make mistakes and….

You can fix them!

These are your lessons.  You have to learn them, to go through “the fire” sometimes in order to Level Up Your Life.  When it comes to your life, you are responsible—yours is the opinion that matters.  I’m not going to tell you that everything will always work out the way you want.  In fact, often, when you get what you want, it winds up not looking anything like you thought it might.  Is this some cruel cosmic joke?

No.  Maybe.  Sure.  Who cares!

Whatever happens, isn’t it better to follow your passion?  To attempt even a few of your “crazy” ideas?  Rather than suffer a life of “quiet desperation”?  You might surprise yourself.  You will fall flat on your face…a lot.  But, that’s okay.  That’s why you’re here.  To run and fall and skin your knees… and create a great life for yourself.

So, what do you say?

You down with O.P.P.?

No way, not me!

You down with O.P.P.?

No way, not me!

You know what?  Me neither.

“I took the road less traveled, and it has made all the difference.”

~Robert Frost~

For more on this topic, check out the podcast >>TOSOL #55 – Down With O.P.P. (Other People’s Perceptions)? <<

Ass In Chair

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Ass In Chair.  Three little words that sound like a reprimand.  Or a command from a disgruntled parental unit to “Sit your butt down and behave for a change.”  They’re not.  They are a gateway to greatness.  Mixed with a cup of Time and a dollop of Chutzpah—okay, a lot of chutzpah—and you can Be, Do, Have all you want out of life.  It’s up to you.  And, “the secret” is…

Ass –In–Chair.

Nora Roberts is one of the most popular romance writers in America.  On average, she writes five books a year.  Five best-selling books.  When asked how she managed to be so prolific, she had one golden rule:  “Ass in the chair.”  In her interview with the New Yorker, she went on to say “People go, ‘Oh, you work six or eight hours a day, oh my God.’  ‘Well, yeah, how many hours do you work?’”

Sounds ominous, doesn’t it?

All she is doing is treating her creative ability like a job.

You know what?  You could, too.  In fact, if you want to get where you want to go—or, at least where you say you want to go—you’re going to have to do the same.

Dun-dun-duhn!  (Insert “foreboding music” here)

Last week I worked on a blog post based off my notes from TOSOL #54 – “The Dark Side of Positive.”  It wound up being more than 2,570 words.  That’s a lot of frickin’ words for a blog post.  I got curious, so I took said post and slapped it into book format—just to see what I was looking at.  Nine pages (Eight and a quarter, really, but you have to use up nine to get there).  Last week, I spent much of my time “ass in the chair.”

Charles, my co-host & producer for The Other Side of LIVE! asked me “Why?”  Not only “Why,” but…“How?”  He knows my schedule and that I don’t have much in the way of wiggle room when it comes to…well, anything.

First…Why?

In the beginning it was because I have coaches (yes, I have coaches) who tell me writing—books, blog posts, and other forms of written inspirational content—is necessary for my burgeoning speaking career.  This content adds clout (or, “Klout” as the case may be).  Couple that with the fact that this makes me a “triple threat,” if only in my own mind.  In theater and film, you are a triple threat when you can act, dance, & sing.  In media, social and otherwise, you can claim that moniker once you blog, vlog, & podcast.  Guess which I’m sorely lacking in.  Yup: the writing.  Now, don’t get me wrong—I can write.  It just takes me a while.  There’s something to be said for the “one & done” ease that goes along with broadcasting talk radio live and/or shooting-from-the-hip video commentary.  I luuuuuv it.  The writing takes longer.  At the very least, it takes me longer.  First, I throw up on the page—getting all my ideas out there.  Once that’s done, I have to go back and make everything palatable.  Writing and rewriting, rewriting and more rewriting—until it’s finally complete…or, as complete as it’s going to be if I ever want to publish the little bastards.

That’s a whole lot of Ass In Chair.

So, is that my “Why”?  Is that the reason I’m going to put in the man hours it’s going to take for me to become a blogger?  Let alone, a blogger “of note”?  In the beginning, yes.  Hell yes.  However, as I’m sure you know, this “Why” would not keep me writing for long.  There has to be something else…right?  No.  Not necessarily.  But, thankfully, there is something else.  I’ve only put out two of these blog posts at the time of this writing, and I’m already receiving responses.  Not only, but they’re from people who had never commented on my vlogs or podcasts.

I am reaching people.

I am making a difference.

In the end, that is what this is all about for me.

Helping Others Be Awesome!

This is my “Why.”  This is my reason for hours upon hours of Ass In Chair.

Now for the “How.”

I maintain a very full schedule from week to week.  At this moment, it’s around 1:30 on a Friday afternoon.  On a day that I told myself I would “take it easy.”  Use it as kind of a “day off.”  And yet here I sit, tickling the plastics of my notebook keyboard.  My to-do index card is full, but I want to make sure I clock an hour of writing before tackling any of the errands I told myself I might get to today.  So, how does this work?  With virtually no room for anything else, how do I fit something else in?  How do you?

It’s all about Focus.

See, though I keep myself busy with all the “important” crap I’ve got going on, sometimes it’s just that….

Crap.

Though I’m constantly working on things I need to do, they’re not all things I need to do.  This is where the Focus comes in.  Setting aside an hour (or more if I’m feeling adventurous) for writing means I’m specifically putting away the social media and phone calls and web browsing, no matter how work-related, as long as the timer is ticking away.  (Yes, I have a timer that I use.)  This allows me to concentrate and focus my attention on the things that are most important.  Things that pull me and my career forward.  Things that actually put me in touch with accomplishing my mission statement, Help Others Be Awesome, on a day-to-day basis.  It’s the Focus that compresses all the fluff, gifting me with more time to do the things that matter most….

To my goals.

To my dreams.

To me.

This is often easier said than done.  Last Monday, I wrestled with my writing time.  Sitting in front of my computer, I did everything, but write.  I updated statuses, checked emails, attended to a variety of menial tasks that, though I needed to get done, were not at all important to the task at hand—my writing.  It wasn’t that I wanted to goof off either.  Thoughts of watching television or playing video games did nothing to titillate me.  I wanted to work, to be productive, but it seems that I lost my way somewhere betwixt the desire and its execution.

What the hell was going on?!

My “spirit was willing, but my flesh was weak.”  (Matthew 26:41—paraphrased of course.)  After discussing my “problem” with a teacher friend, I came to the realization that I had worked all weekend.  In the summer heat—pouring out all I had for the entertainment of others.  I was drained and didn’t even know it.  My body, however, knew exactly what was going on…and it demanded that I chill.  Have you ever had an extremely productive day, where you got bucket loads done?  It felt terrific, didn’t it?!  So good, in fact, that you couldn’t wait to hit it again the next day for a repeat performance of your awesomeness.

That’s not what happened, is it?

There was no awesome anywhere to be found.

It just picked up—leaving you high & dry, and taking whatever drive you had the previous day with it.  That’s when television and video games and (*insert appropriate distraction here) become a lot more interesting.

Why is this?

You see, we as people follow certain rhythms.  One day you want chicken for dinner, the next steak.  Later in the week, sushi sounds good (actually, sushi always sounds good), and then hot dogs & burgers.  The same is true for your work cycles.  One day you’ll be running full tilt.  The next you’re looking longingly out the window, daydreaming of better adventures…on a hammock in Maui.

Why bring this up?

Especially considering this is a blarticle about getting things done, why chatter on about body rhythms and not getting things done?

Because it happens.

Hell, it’s happening now!

 The difference between last Monday and today is I’m not afraid of my restlessness.  I know it will pass.  After speaking with my friend, I decided to take a break.  I emailed what I had written thus far and waited for her to get back in touch.  Having been a teacher, she would be able to look things over and help point me in the right direction for the ending.  In the meantime…

I watched television….

I played a video game…

I socially mediated….

And my body thanked me for it.

By the time my teacher friend got back in touch with me, I was ready.  She gave me notes & ideas.  I did the rest.  At 1:30 in the morning, I finished writing “The Dark Side of Positive.”  Exhausted and mentally drained, I felt great about what I had accomplished!

I am a writer.

Because I write.

Because I finish.

Because I sit down, “ass in the chair,” and write.

If there is something out there you have a passion for—something you want to Do, Be, Have—You are going to have to plunk yourself down and work your way into doing, being, having whatever it is.  Nobody can do your exercise for you.  (I really wish I remember who said that.).  You have to do it.  It’s your responsibility.  This is your life.  It’s up to you to make it a great one.  Please do.

I dare you!

 

The Dark Side of Positive

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On this path to chasing & catching your dreams, you are headed for the “mountaintop.”  That main destination you have set your heart on at this stage in your journey—for the adventurous at heart, there are always more mountains to climb.  With scenery so beautiful and enticing (the grass is always greener up on the mountaintop), you long to frolic and eventually purchase a spread of your own in that land of milk & honey.  So, you kiss your mum & da goodbye and waive your friends cheerio as you strike out for adventure and a better standard of living.  You’re so bold.  You’re so brave—with not much more in your pocketses than your hopes, aspirations, and a few magic beans.  Somewhere, not too far from where you began, the path grows steeper…and steeper…and steeper still.  That’s when it hits you.  The light bulb appears above your head, illuminating an important fact that in your exuberance to get started had eluded you until this you’re-hip-deep-in-sheep-sugar-now moment….

You don’t know how to mountain climb.

It’s not all sunshine & roses.  This path you’ve chosen to better your life.  It’s not so easy.   Sure, it’s mucho better than the alternative—having no life at all, living vicariously through someone else’s safely-watched-from-the-couch fantasy.  In his book The Dip, Seth Godin talks about being gung-ho for a passion or project until you smack headfirst into the reality of what it will take to attain such lofty and noble goals.

“THE DIP is a little book about quitting…. Every new project (or job, or hobby, or company) starts out exciting and fun. Then it gets harder and less fun, until it hits a low point—really hard, and not much fun at all.  And then you find yourself asking if the goal is even worth the hassle. Maybe you’re in a Dip—a temporary setback that will get better if you keep pushing. But maybe it’s really a Cul-de-Sac, which will never get better, no matter how hard you try.”

This is where you are first smacked in the face with the reality of what you are undertaking.  (Oh, yes, there will be other moments.)  The High-School-Musical infatuation once held for your pet project wilts in the shadow of this dream-mountain you picked out for yourself.  Oy, the things you’ve gotta go through to become the person you need to be to scale such a behemoth.  Where did all the fun go?  You never signed on for…this!  Actually, you did.  You just didn’t know it…yet.  Tricksy-tricksy Law of Attraction.  Throwing opportunities your way and you not ready to act on (and sometimes even notice) them.  Now you have this huge opportunity…with a mountain of work—Yuk!—standing between you and your dream.

Whatever will you do?!

First thing…relax.  Though there is much you will face and endure along the way, all is happening as it should.  As it must.  Everything you’re coming up against in your effort to reach the mountaintop is happening to help Level Up Your Life and get YOU ready.

This is the hard part, “dark side” that comes with getting what you want out of life.  The price to be paid for this kind of “magic.”  So, what do you have to look forward to on your journey through the Dark Side of Positive?

Scary Monsters?

Goblins & Gremlins galore?

Yes, all this and more, Dream Hunters….  All this and more.

There’s the Gremlin we call Work.  How can there be work when you’re doing what you love?

BAM!

You just got ambushed by Gremlin Work.

Are you willing to put in the necessary effort to not only be in the right place at the right time, but to become the right person in the right place at the right time?  We hear of “overnight successes” all the time, but are they really?  Take a closer look and you’ll find they’ve spent, often, years in preparation of their “big moment,” that opportunity that comes knocking only once every so often.  People like to call them lucky.  Because it makes them feel better about what they’re doing and their chances at catching that same “big break.”  What they fail to see…is the overnight success that took 5-10-20 years to get there.

“The harder I work, the luckier I get.”  ~Samuel Goldwyn, producer~

I’ve spent the last couple years at on-the-job training for my talk radio show, The Other Side of LIVE!  (The exclamation point is part of the title.)  At the writing of this blarticle, I’ve recorded nearly 300 vlogs, most dealing with subjects not unlike those delved into on TOSOL.  Before that I’d spent the last 25 years performing comedy across North America.  TOSOL is doing none too shabby—it is well received, the numbers are growing, and they’re about to get bigger.

And, people are going to say I got lucky.

They’re right, you know.  I did get lucky.  And, every time I walked on stage, or stayed up late to rewrite, or took acting classes to learn another aspect of my craft, or went to Toastmasters to learn to speak to people instead of perform at them….every time I did those things or something like them, I got luckier and luckier and luckier.  I’m a lucky guy.  You can be just as lucky.  All you have to do is show up.  Put your best into whatever you’re doing.  Learn to take the good and the bad of what’s happened to you and shape them into something useful.

“I’ve found that luck is quite predictable. If you want more luck, take more chances. Be more active. Show up more often.”

~Bryan Tracy, author & speaker~

Even with all that “luck” on your side, won’t be easy.  It can’t be.  How can it?  Circumstance and the life lessons are there to shape you, to mold you, to teach you what you need to know to survive on the mountaintop.  Those who take a shortcut to the top rarely last up there for any length of time.  There are plenty of bankrupt lottery winners who can attest to this.  You don’t walk into the gym and begin working out with the 100 lbs. weights.  You begin with the 25 lbs. weights (or the 15’s if you’re a champ like me).  It’s not so much that you don’t know what you’re doing as that you’ll hurt yourself.  Badly.  I have a formally squished finger on my left hand (it still crackles when I push on it—ask me, I’ll let you hear it) that warns against such reckless behavior.

There is a price that must be paid—as if God & the Universe are asking “How bad do you want this?”  What are you willing to give up?  Your time?  What kind?

Free Time?

Social Time?

Family Time?

Now do you begin to see why I call this the “Dark Side of Positive”?  Success for this passion that yearns to come to fruition demands a sacrifice.  Don’t worry; it’s not asking for too much.  Just your life and all that you are ready, willing, and able to give.  In return, it will give back to you in equal portion for what you have given.

And, they will call you “lucky.”

Have you counted the cost?  Are you ready, willing, & able to—as the Psychologist K. Anders Ericcson study at the Academy of Music in Berlin shows—spend your 10,000 hours to become the best of the best?

“In the book Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell puts forth the premise that to be an expert in your field requires a devotion to one’s craft for at least 10,000 hours.   Gladwell and other elites cited in the book challenge the premise that genius or being gifted is a matter of innate talent.  In fact, closer analysis of success stories prove out that the element of innate talent plays a lesser role in achieving expert status than one might think.  Gladwell also points out something quite fascinating and worth remembering.  In his study, Ericcson didn’t find any ‘naturals’ or prodigies who effortless mastered their instrument.  Neither did Ericcson find ordinary people who worked harder than anyone else and yet never made it to the top.  In other words, he never found people worked hard and never made it.”

As Victor Antonio (by way of Gladwell and Ericcson) alludes to in the above, you can be anything you set your mind and energy to being—but, there are some things you must first go through to get there.  More than just time, there are other “perils” you must face on your climb up Mordor to the mountaintop.

The Elements

Snow?  Rain?  Gloom of night?  Not quite.  The elements you must face as you climb your metaphorical mountain are those things you must confront to get there.  Skills you must learn along the way: speaking and management and accounting, oh my!  Not to mention whatever talent you must hone as you climb ever onward & upward.

Another element, one that you must all face once you grow your dream beyond the hobby stage, is the J-O-B getting in the way.  Climb the mountain high enough and someday—not to-day, mind you, but some-day—you will come to a crossroads.  At that point in your life you will question whether or not to leave go of the bread-and-butter income-producing profession that has helped you get this far.  If your dream grows so big that it becomes a career, then you will need to rethink your current employment.  The real trick will be in the timing.  Let go too early, and you risk losing your foundation as your finances begin to fall short.  Wait too long…and you get caught in the quicksand of contentment.  Eventually you watch your dreams fade away, leaving you with a life that is “good enough.”  You tell yourself that it’s okay and you just want to be happy.  Yet you find that you are not.  You find that, even with your happy, contented life, you are often listless, sad or mad even.

Because, some joyous part of what you used to be has died inside…

Cooked to a slow boil in the pot of your contentment.

Isolation

One of the more difficult perils you will most likely face on your way up is Isolation.  Though life is very much a team sport, there are times when we must go it alone—especially when creative outlets are involved.  Painter, writer, sculptor, digital artist—alone time is a definite must when pursuing these dreams.  Hours upon hours of it.  The same can be said for dancers, singers, and actors.  Though much of their art involves partners, there is still the learning, training, and even rehearsing that comes before the duets.  If you are a person who cannot stand solitude, then perhaps these are not the dreams for you.  Nora Roberts, one of the most popular romance writers in America, has one golden rule for cranking out five books a year….

“Ass in chair.”

Could you do the same?  Where do you stand with your dream?  When family and friends beg you to come out from your cave and “live a little,” what then?  Are you grateful for the chance to step away from your passion…to see the light of day for a change?  Or do you take up Dave Ramsey’s financial battle cry to “Live like no one else so you can live like no one else”?  Like crabs in a bucket, those around you will pull you back in—even though the kind of freedom you’re seeking can only be found in those “wide open spaces.”

Even now, I’ve cloistered myself away from most of humanity so I can jot down these thoughts and share them with you.  J.K. Rowling began writing the Harry Potter series in 1990.  In 10 years she touched the world.  I bet she clocked in a ton of alone time for her writing.  I’d like to touch the world—wouldn’t you?  And, because of those who have gone before us, we have a pretty good idea on what it’s going to take to achieve something of that caliber.

10,000 hours.

This is the Dark Side of Positive.  You want to get somewhere in life?  Want to create a great life for yourself.  Wonderful.  However, the wanting isn’t enough.  Not for this.  Not for your dream.  The dark side of this golden coin is you are going to have to give and give and give of yourself.  You’re going to have to invest all of you…and then the Laws of Attraction, Reciprocity, and Manifestation kick in…and you begin to get back 10, 100, 1000-fold what you put in.  The bad news vs. good news of all this is it’s going to take a lot of work—Boo!

And, it’s all up to you—Yay!

Yes, there is a dark side to positive, but it is a necessary “evil” for all the good it brings into your life.  It’s there for a reason.  It’s there to help you grow.  To help you level up to the where you need to be to handle a dream as big & brilliant as yours.  Dreams this big require a sacrifice of sorts.  Don’t worry; it isn’t much.  Just all you’ve got to give.  Your dreams will grow in direct proportion to what you put into them.

It’s all up to you!

Manifestation, stirring the quantum soup, dreaming dreams & wishing wishes attract opportunities—that’s the easy part.  It’s up to you to reach out and act on them when the time is right.  Even early on when you’re not quite ready.  That’s when you fail forward and go for it!  You probably won’t be ready to ride that first opportunity right out of the chute, but you’ll learn.  Remember, ready-fire-aim—make adjustments as you go.  Keep moving forward, climbing up that mountain and becoming the person you need to be to reach the mountaintop.  Once you get there, you’ll know what all the fuss was about and what all the trouble was for.  Because, from that vantage point, the view is amazing and you can see forever!  From up there, you will begin to understand and appreciate all that you had to go through.  But, before any of that…

You’ve got to take those first steps.

Go grab your gear and begin your journey up the mountain.  When the weather gets rough, and it will, remember to tuck your chin and keep climbing.  Keep your eyes on your Why—the prize, your passion, your reason for this dream you have.  Your Why will be a beacon for those darkest times when you have nothing left to keep you moving and you’re ready to give up.  Like a bright star in the East it will guide you ever onward and upward.  Eventually, with but a cup of audacity to begin your journey and dash of persistence to carry you through, braving the elements, isolation, and anything else life may throw your way, you will move beyond the dark, difficult time…

…to reach your Mountaintop.

Click here for the Cross the Finish Line:  >>>Podcast<<<

Cross the Finish Line

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How many projects do you have open?  Ever begin a new one while there was still sooo much left to do on the others?  Because you had to, right?  If you’re anything like me, you have multiple projects going at one time, most of them somewhere just below or above the halfway mark of getting done.  They’re sitting there, lounging about in various stages of undress, thumbing their noses at you and beckoning the rest of the world to have a looksee at how disorganized you are….

…Or is that only me?

No?

Good.

Misery loves company.

Projects are not the only things I collect.  Apparently, I have a penchant for Internet Browser Tabs.  They’re addicting.  I mean, sure, I tell myself that I leave them open as a reminder.  A 21st Century trail of breadcrumbs, leading me back to the land of unread articles and ignored interweb pals in desperate need of a witty reply.  But, that’s just an excuse.  I’m pretty sure I’m a Browser-Tab Hoarder.

Yeesh.

Another thing I like to collect, this one falling more on the plus side of my Mordant Habits, is To-Do Lists.  Short ones, long ones, day–week–month ones…I’ve got a bunch.  Just recently I set myself up with yet another Master To-Do List.  (Yes, there have been others.)  I’m really proud of this one.  It’s three columns wide—enough to fit my Tortuga Twins, Mordant World, and personal to-do stuffage.  Then it breaks down into recurring tasks, weekly, and people I need to contact.  I take something from each of the columns and put them down on an index card.  Those items are the ones I’ll be working on for that specific day.  It appears a little convoluted, but it’s not that complicated…not really.  My brain seems to like it and I’m getting stuff done, (yes, this blog is on the list) and that’s what matters.

I could delve more into To-Do Theory, but that’s not what this blarticle is about.

(Please stop applauding.)

The reason I bring up such things as to-do lists & browser breadcrumbs is to share a bit of my own mental clutter and let you know I’m guilty of everything I’m chatting about here.  That is why I’m sooo knowledgeable on this subject—firsthand experience.  Mental clutter isn’t the topic either.  Then, why have I “wasted” 383 words (as of last sentence) talking about it?  Because those aspects of mental clutter are part of a long list of things that keep you from completing your work/finishing your projects/achieving your goals.  They get in your way, delay and trip you up, preventing you from being able to…Cross the Finish Line. Btw, this is what this blarticle (blog-article—so, sue me) is about.

Busy is the new Lazy.

Often insidious, sometimes distractions & excuses come cleverly disguised as work.  You heard me.  I believe that one of the things we do to keep from Crossing the Finish Line is busy work…or, more specifically Busywork.  You know, those day-to-day things we “have to” get done.  It may be some other project or a task you’ve been putting off.  It could even be something that, once you begin working on it, opens doors to various forms of distraction.

Social media anyone?  No?

When was the last time you “just checked” your Facebook for a minute…

10 minutes…

Holy crap, where’d that hour go?!

Don’t beat yourself up too much—my good intentions have led me down this self-same road.  The problem with Busywork is its ninja-like ability to sneak in under your distraction-detecting radar, keeping you sooo busy that you don’t have time to do the really important things—for your family, your dreams/goals, even the J-O-B.  Sinister & sneaky, Busywork is the Sith Lord of distractions.  You’re spinning your wheels, exhausted from all the quality work-time you’ve spent managing various “necessary” tasks.  Yet, at the end of the day, you’ve done nothing to further your goals, level up beyond your current circumstances, or enrich your quality of life.  You’re stuck—finish line in sight, but lacking both the drive & energy to sprint those final meters and cross.

Crossing the Finish Line is something we all struggle with from time to time.  You’ve done it; I’ve done it.  The good thing about all of us being in the trenches together is we can share our experiences, both positive and negative, and the wisdom harvested from them.  Below are four steps I use to help me get over the hurdles and across the finish line.

STEPS 2 HELP YOU CROSS THE FINISH LINE

MAKE A TO-DO LIST:  No, I’m not kidding.  This really works.  Not only is this good for you & me, but it’s grand for other highly successful people.

“I have always lived my life by making lists: Lists of people to call, lists of ideas, lists of companies to set up, lists of people who can make things happen.  Each day I work through these lists, and it is that sequence of calls that propels me forward.”

~Sir Richard Branson~

Jot down the “to-do” you want to work on for that day and number each task accordingly.  Begin a task and finish it.  Try not moving on until you’re done or have “hit a wall” (i.e., need someone else to “do their part” before you can take up the reins again).  *Tip: Let’s not live or die by this order—if you’re on #3, but you’re moved to knock out #7 or can do it with alacrity, feel free to make that Quantum Leap.)

TURN OFF YOUR “DISTRACTIONS”:  Facebook, television, video games…your phone—turn them all O-F-F!  There’s nothing more hindering than being pulled out of your flow by a buddy with an oh-so important message for you or the *ping-ping-ping* siren call of new emails.  Set aside your creative time for being creative.  The world and its catastrophes will be there when you plug back into the Matrix an hour or three later.  Meanwhile, your Real Life, the life you are meant to have if only you would do whatever it takes to make it your own, is waiting for you to crank up the power and go get it.

MAKE IT A GAME:  The only person you’re really in competition with is yourself.  Why not use this attitude to your advantage?  Find a way to have fun with even the most mundane tasks.  How?  Try setting various deadlines and rewards for finishing early.  (You have a week to complete your task.  For every day before your deadline you finish, give yourself a little sumthin’-sumthin’.)

People like to be scared.  That’s why rollercoasters and horror flicks do such a big business.  Why not discover enjoyment in facing those things that challenge you?  I was a touch fretful when going to invite singer/artist Afua Richardson to guest on The Other Side of LIVE!  I’d never met her before and I wasn’t sure how she’d take this motivational blonde guy with the Tony Stark goatee.  (*Spoiler Alert* — I can be shy sometimes.)  I decided to walk my talk and Fail Forward.  Though nervous, I sought her out and asked her to be on the show.  She said “Yes,” and I even managed to vlog the moment.  It was scary.  It was outside my comfort zone.  It was fun and I’m sooo glad I did it!  As long as I kept it a game, I was able to play through all my doubts and negative self-chatter.  In the end, I both lined up a guest for TOSOL and deposited some serious cred into my self-esteem account.  You can, too!  Just make it a game and remember…

“Have fun dammit!”  ~Cindy Lu~

KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE PRIZE:  Don’t forget your Why!  Instead of looking at all the crap you have to go through to get to where you’re going, stay focused on the accomplishment and its benefit.  While working as a painter’s apprentice, I had to walk a narrow ledge to get from one painting site to another.  I was fine as long as I kept my eyes on where I was going, my destination, my goal…not on my feet and where I was walking.  Relaying this story to writer/aerialist Allison Williams, she told me that this was true for aerial performers of all varieties—especially the tightrope walkers.

Your Why (your reason for doing those crazy-wonderful things you do) is what keeps you going when all about you is chaos.  When the doubts creep in and you’re not sure you’ve made the right choice in pursuing your dream, your Why will keep you Crossing the Finish Line when others are quitting the race before they’ve even worked up a sweat.  Your Why is the “reason for the season,” folks.  It is, literally, why you began running your race in the first place.

Keep your eye on the prize, trusting your feet to land where they’re supposed to land, and you, my friends, will Cross the Finish Line, accomplishing every fantastic thing you set your mind to do.

“Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.”

~W. Clement Stone~

 

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Georgia Mordant World Meet-up 2011 Leveling Up Your Life

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Recorded in Atlanta, Georgia in June for the Mordant World Meet-up at the Phoenix & Dragon Bookstore, Mordant discusses Leveling Up Your Life.

Here are the highlights:

• The brain can’t tell the difference between what you see and what you think
o Dreaming is like you’re really doing it. The same with movies
• WOW point:
o “If you’re not being creative in your own world, you’re not leveling up your life.” ~Mordant~
• Hope discusses how in a class she was teaching, participants were disinclined to give up ½ hour of nightly 3-hour television for some health-related activity or exercise
• The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor
• Eat That Frog by Brian Tracy
• Artful Procrastination
• Why Real Women Drink Straight Tequila—The Tao of Intimacy by Sarina Stone and Mordant, yo!
• If you’re good at giving advice, and not so good at receiving, listen when you give.
o We teach what we most want/need to learn
o Ask yourself what advice would you give to a friend going through a similar situation
• Hope discusses her difficulty with addressing her problems…even as she is beginning to coach others
• Hardship is training for the next level of your life; it is there to help you grow
• What do you do when you’re “Not Ready to Deal With It”?
• About Therapy and Therapists
• What the BLEEP Do We Know?!
• About Quantum Physics and how all Time happens at once
o The person you will be is looking back at you, guiding you and encouraging you to overcome your hardships in so that you might learn and grow into the best Y-O-U possible
• Big Problems mean you’re a Big Deal
• Mordant’s “Big Problem”:
o Motivational Speaking…or…Mordant outside his Comfort Zone
• A Video Game Analogy: What makes these games the most fun, what makes the victory the sweetest, is the difficulty of the tasks they set before you at each level
• It’s all about Perception: “If you believe you can or you believe you can’t, you’re right.” ~Henry Ford~
• Retraining your desires/habits—learning to enjoy problems, not hate them
o “Problems aren’t bad; problems are good.” ~David Powell~
• Celeste discusses her roadblocks with getting back to Historical Restoration/Preservation
• There will never be enough time to _________ (that thing you claim you want to do); You have to Create a Space for it
• Crush It! by Gary Vaynerchuk
• Arin discusses pursuing his dream with his Fencing School and teaching Historical Fencing
• It’s not about What do you have to do to be successful; it’s about Who do you have to become
• Katie talks about how she has completely checked out of her life because she feels as if she cannot win at it anymore.
• A Warning for Creative People!!!
• Mordant discusses using drugs as a distraction when his mother died back in September of 2000
• When Life knocks you down, you’ are allowed to reel from the punch…but, you have to get back up again
• Jack Canfield: Chicken Soup for the Soul & The Success Principles
• Looking at your problems from the perspective of whatever level you’re at: a Level 3 Person looking at a Level 5 Problem versus a Level 8 Person looking at the same problem
• Failure is our Friend
• “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work” ~Thomas A. Edison~
• The Dip by Seth Godin
• Why Mordant quit learning whip cracking tricks
• Quitting World of Warcraft
o Don’t Break the Seal
• Quitting Drinking
• Mordant’s adventures with Toastmasters
o Mordant’s “If You Could Be Anything….” practice speech
• Peter Stelzer & Marla Finn of the Phoenix Film Institute (Scottsdale, AZ On-Camera Acting Coaches)
• (Phoenix Film Institute)news P.F.I…. and dipping my feet into the motivational/public speaking pool

Honorable Mentions:
• Audible.com
• Facebook.com/MordantWorld
• BearCrawlingNation.com

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Learning a New Thing from a Dragon Speaking…Naturally

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So… I’m trying something new. I’m trying Dragon NaturallySpeaking. It’s voice-recognition software that allows me to dictate my e-mails, my documents, even spreadsheets. Anything that I would normally type, I’m able to crank out vocally. Of course, “crank” appears very optimistic at this stage in the game.

There seems to be a learning curve on this program. Although it is writing out everything I say as I say it, it wants to write out all the correction commands I’m making. Surely this isn’t my fault. Surely it’s because the program hasn’t figured out the way I speak, and not the fact that I haven’t learned how the program works – with its specific commands for its specific functions. Surely that’s it. Right?

Riiiiight.

At this point, it would be easier to just type this thing out, mumbling “what’s all the fuss about?” My life would be much easier if I threw up my hands and said “why bother?” But, I’m not in the business of easy. I’m in the business of telling people to try new things, to challenge themselves. I’m in the business of teaching people to dance outside their Comfort Zone. That includes me.

You see, I’m people, too.

Even now as I play with this software, I am learning how to do it. True, I am learning slowly, but I am learning nonetheless. Even so, there is still so much that I have to learn, and it is very frustrating. But, I will keep plugging away until I get it… Or I grow bored.

We’ll see which happens first.

I have written this entire blog via Dragon NaturallySpeaking (not including certain corrected bits and parts edited in later). It has taken me at least three times as long to complete (I’m guessing; it’s probably longer). However, my hands have only touched the keyboard when it was absolutely necessary. Even now my fingers are laced behind my head and I am leaning back resting.  As I speak, it “writes.” I could get used to this.

But, I’ve got to learn to use it first.

There are a lot of new things I have been working on lately, and especially so if you take into account all I’ve accomplished over this past year. Yet, the more I learn, the more I discover I have so much left to learn. But, I will keep plugging away until I get it…

Or I grow bored.  (Bazinga!)

So, what does all this have to do with you – this long apparent advertisement for my new “toy”? Mucho or nada (I’ve begun learning Spanish again as well) – it all depends on how you take it. All I’m doing is sharing my experiences with you, hoping that you will see something in them that helps you move forward. As always, I challenge you to find new things. To stretch yourself in new ways. Things that make you think. Things that push you up off your couch, out of your cave, and back into the sunshine. Things that will keep you fresh and new as these very things you are trying.

My mother learned to surf the Internet at 80. True she was drawn to all the knitting sites and her e-mails were only sent to her younger friends (60s or so). But, by teaching herself this, she taught me that you are never too old to learn something new, something fresh. And, that there is nothing, nothing meant only for the young.

Only for the young at heart.

So, go out there and find your new thing. Try yoga if you need to stretch your body, or learn a new computer software if you need to stretch your mind (and test your patience). Something that will further you as a person, that will bring you closer to your dream. Something that you need, something that you want, or even something that catches your fancy, but find it you must. I challenge you. True, it will not be easy at first, but the rewards and self-satisfaction will be immeasurable.

And… You won’t grow bored.